Taken
by mysweetcupcake
Summary: Set at the end of the Iron Queen. Rowan is out for revenge and kidnaps Meghan, turning Ash's world upside down. Ash, Puck and Grimalkin of course, must race to find Meghan before Rowan destroys her completely. Will Ash find the girl he loves in time?
1. Forever and ever and ever

Ash lays me down at the base of the tree, concern filling his silver eyes. I shut my own eyes, blocking him out. I don't have enough energy to tell him to leave _and_ finish what I started. Besides, it's comforting, knowing he's next to me. I concentrate on the power swirling inside of me, drawing it close for a second before releasing it in a tidal wave of power into the ground. I let out a sigh of relief as the power that has caused me so much grief is finally released. I can feel Ash grip my hand but it feels far away now.

"Meghan." It's like I'm underwater, every sensation has been dulled. I feel my shoulders shake and my name called again, desperation creeping into Ash's voice. Which isn't right. Ash is always in control – he always knows what to do. I try to resurface from the hole I'm falling down; to reassure him I'm all right but I can't. The darkness is too comfortable and it doesn't matter how hard my knight shakes me, I'm not sure I want to wake up any more.

Annoyingly, my knight has other ideas. He must have moved me because I'm rudely jerked out of the peaceful oblivion I desperately want to sink in to. A groan must escape my lips because I distantly hear Ash say,

"I know Meghan, I know. Just hold on a little longer. We're almost there." Hearing the emotion in my usually cold, stoic faery boyfriend pushes me a little further to the surface. I have to try – he didn't give in when a metal bug was killing him slowly from the inside. I owe it to him to try.

Yeah. Not giving up sounds so good in theory but it's a lot harder when it's put into practice. I've always known that Ash is strong but this proves it. I last maybe a couple of minutes before I come to the conclusion that Ash was lying when he said 'it wasn't far' and, finally, drift off into the oblivion wrapped in his arms, knowing he will never let me go. Strangely, that's all I need to know – that I won't be completely forgotten.

* * *

"Dammit Meghan – don't you dare give up on me now!" A voice growls from above me. Why won't these people leave me alone? I was perfectly happy drifting in the darkness until something started pounding on my chest. Something grips my hand tightly, anchoring me temporarily to this world.

"Please Meghan. Fight for me. Please don't leave me now Meghan. Please." Something wet drops onto my cheek as I struggle to connect the voice to a face. It's not until cool lips brush mine that I realise who it is. My knight. My beautiful, brave, fearless knight who will not give up on me no matter what. Fire races through my body and my heart starts to beat faster.

"It's working ice boy! It's working!" Both my hands are now gripped tightly – one in a cool hand, the other warm – and it gives me the strength I need to fight a little longer. After all – I'm Meghan Chase. As both Machina and Ferrum have found out - I don't give up easily.

* * *

When I finally peel my eyes open, the first thing I notice is I'm hot. Really hot. I groan with the effort of moving my arm from under the thick blankets to push them off. I hear the tent flap open rather than see it.

"Meghan?" Ash asks quietly. It takes me a moment to place the emotion in his voice. Resignation. I've obviously groaned a lot whilst I was unconscious – I hate that he's had to sit through that.

"Ash." I manage to croak weakly. I turn my head in the general direction of his voice, trying to see his silver eyes in the dim light.

"Meghan!" Suddenly, he's right beside me, brushing my hair back off my face tenderly, the resignation in his voice gone.

"How are you feeling?" He asks, his eyes never leaving mine. I push at the top blanket feebly.

"Hot...Thirsty." I manage to say before giving up with speech altogether. I'm sure it didn't used to hurt so much. That's all Ash needs though. Almost immediately, a huge weight is lifted off my body as what feels like a hundred wool blankets drop to the ground with a thud. He reaches behind him and picks up a small pitcher of water and gently helps me up a little so I can drink. I gulp the cool water down greedily until all the water is gone.

"Better?" He asks when I'd finished. I nod weakly and he gives me a small smile in return. He lays me back down and puts the pitcher down again before facing me once more. I steel myself for what's coming next.

"What were you thinking Meghan?" He asks, lacing his fingers through mine. I don't answer for a minute because I'm not completely sure he wants an answer.

"I wasn't." I murmur after a while. It's true – I wasn't thinking of what it would do to Ash, watching me give my life to save him, or to watch as I just gave up on life itself; content to leave him again. I didn't think about how that would make him feel. I can blame it on the pain but we both knew the real reason – for a short time, I'd lost the will to fight any more. It didn't even matter to me that Ash was hurting. That if I died it would not only destroy Ash and Puck, but Ethan and Mom and even Luke as well. I'd forgotten all of that and I can't ever make that up to Ash. Tears spill over my cheeks against my will and I turn away so Ash can't see.

"Meghan? Meghan look at me." A pause before a cool finger hooks under my chin and gently turns my head back to look at him. "Why are you crying? Are you in pain?"

"No." I sniff, trying to turn away again but Ash is expecting it this time and stops me.

"Then why are you crying?"

"Because I'm an awful person." Ash raises an eyebrow in confusion. "I was ready to leave you Ash. I was completely ready to die even though I knew how much it would upset you. Even though I'd sworn never to cause you that much harm deliberately. I still did it Ash." I was bordering on becoming hysterical by now but I couldn't stop.

"I'm an awful, awful person for doing that Ash and I don't even know how you can be in the same room as me after what I almost did." He shifts and in one smooth move I'm lying on his chest with his arms wrapped tightly around me. I consider trying to pull away but his arms are like vices so I give in and nestle my head into his chest.

"Meghan, how you can even entertain the idea that you are an awful person is beyond me. Of course you were ready to go Meghan. Don't you remember, when you found me at your home under Virus' control, how I was ready to go? How I was ready to leave you? I have hurt you more times than I can count Meghan, yet you're still here. By some miracle I still have you. All you needed was hope Meghan – hope that the real world, is better than the darkness. That's what you gave me all those weeks ago." He kisses my hair. "I don't blame you Meghan. I'm just glad that you came back, that you decided to fight once more." I sniffle and look up at him.

"Really?" He smiles down at me.

"I don't think you realise Meghan Chase – I will not let you go, not after everything we've been through. I'm afraid you're stuck with me for a long time." I smile in the darkness, shifting slightly in his arms to try and ease the throbbing in my side.

"Forever and ever and ever?" I mumble through a yawn, knowing I sound like Ethan but I really don't care. Ash chuckles and kisses me once more.

"That sounds exactly right to me." And with that, I drift off once more, safe in the knowledge that the future I've been dreaming of since I first set eyes on Ash in the Wyldwood all those months ago, is finally coming true.

* * *

**Helloo - so I said that this story wouldn't be up for a little while but I've got most of it written so why not? So, this story is a little weird in terms of setting. In my mind, Glitch has taken over as ruler of the Iron Fey so Meghan and Ash are still together and he doesn't go on his quest to find a soul. Rowan is still alive (but that will be explained in the next few chapters) and, I think that's it. If you're confused about something, please ask me! **

**I love love love the Iron Fey series - I don't think I've ever deliberated so much over Team Ash or Team Puck (Ash won - just) and I'm so exicted to hear what you guys think of the new story! Oh - and I don't own the Iron Fey, though I reallllllyyy wish I did! Enjoy guys xxx **


	2. He wants a war

I don't sleep for long. An hour at most. I'd probably have slept for longer but a cold wind blowing through the tent wakes me up. Ash is no longer next to me, but over by the entrance of the tent, talking quietly with an Unseelie guard. From his tense posture, I'm guessing that whatever the guard wants him to do, doesn't please him.

"Ash?" I ask sitting up, my voice still thick with sleep. Ash's head whips round in my direction before turning back to glare at the guard who shrugs. Ash walks over and bends down next to the bed. "What's going on?" I ask, reaching out to take his hand.

"Mab wants to see me." He mutters, rubbing circles on the back of my hand.

"Oh." Now I understand why he's so tense. "You can go, you know." He looks up at me, a multitude of emotions shining in his eyes.

"I remember what happened last time I left you alone to speak to her." He says, his other hand skimming my arm, making me shiver in pleasure despite the less than pleasant memories that are surfacing. Before the final battle with Ferrum, Ash left me alone in a tent exactly like this one to go and speak to his Queen. Whilst he was gone, Rowan showed up, attacking me whilst my knight was away.

"What are the chances that that will happen twice?" I ask, trying to keep my voice light.

"If you wish me to go then I will-"

"But you don't want to." I say, a small smile playing on my lips. He returns the smile.

"Why would I want to talk to Mab when you're here?" I only just manage to not draw in a huge breath at that. I'm not used to him coming out with these things. I'm not used to anyone telling me these things. Instead of answering, I lean forward, kissing him gently. He sighs against my lips, his hands pulling me closer. I break the kiss, resting my forehead against his.

"Go Ash. Mab already hates me for taking her favourite son away from her; lets not push her." He groans and closes his eyes for a second, before kissing me again.

"Ash." I murmur against his lips. "Stop. Stalling. And. Go." I push him off laughing at the disgruntled look on his face.

"As you wish." He pauses, any playfulness gone from his eyes. "Meghan. If you need me. No matter what it is – however small you think it is. Call me. Do you understand?" I sigh and nod.

"Although, if I remember correctly, I did call for you last time." I say without thinking. I curse silently when I see him wince at the memory.

"I will be there Meghan. The second you need me. Mab be damned." I raise an eyebrow at him but he doesn't say anything more on the subject. He kisses my forehead once more and walks out of the tent. I lie back against the pillow, a cold, sinking feeling settling in my stomach and I want to call Ash back and tell him I was wrong – Mab will understand. Eventually anyway.

_Grow up Meghan. _I tell myself sharply. _Don't be ridiculous. _With that thought I force myself back to sleep.

I'm woken again, a little while later as I am dragged off the bed. I can only manage one word before I'm knocked unconscious,

"ASH!"

* * *

_Ash POV_

I stifle a groan as Mab questions me, yet again, on my relationship with Meghan.

"Ash." She purrs. "Come back, come home."

"No, my Queen. I will not leave Meghan." Mab narrows her eyes.

"You are willing to give up everything for the half-breed whelp?"

"Yes my Queen. I am-" Before I can any further, a scream rips through the camp and pierces my heart.

"ASH!" Meghan. With not even a glance at my former Queen, I race out of the tent and head towards where I left Meghan.

_Please be okay. Please, please be okay._ I plead silently as I run towards the tent. I tear the flap back and stop. There's no one there. The only thing that tells me (aside from the scream) that Meghan didn't willingly get up and walk out, is the pile of blankets that have been distributed on and around the bed. I glance around the room, looking for any sign of an attacker. My gaze rests on the small bedside table. Next to the water jug is a small, dark object. I walk over and pick it up. It's a small stick from a young tree. Several small leaves have sprouted from the wood. Although the tree is young, it's not young enough to have escaped the Iron Realm, threads of iron runs down the length of the wood and it reminds me of a similar message left for us a few days ago. Rowan. I should have known. Rage bubbles up inside of me and I turn and fling my arm out, sending several icy spears through the wall of the tent, ignoring the screams outside as the shards make contact with some unfortunate Unseelie outside. Rowan's final words to me in our last fight come floating back.

_I had the upper hand – barely. Rowan always had been the better fighter but this time, I had something other than pride to fight for. I was watching Meghan's battle with Ferrum out of the corner of my eye. The whole room is suddenly awash with power and Meghan goes flying across the room as a bolt of lightning hits her._

"_Meghan!" I yell, turning my head to look at her limp body. Which was my first mistake. Rowan delivers a crushing blow, which I barely manage to miss. I stagger to the side, trying to concentrate on my winning this fight, on killing Rowan once and for all. But I can't breathe properly. As I parry yet another blow from my brother, I hear her groan softly and sigh in relief. She's okay. She's alive. _

"_Come on little brother, is that the best you can do?" Rowan gloats._

"_I will kill you Rowan." I reply. I don't say the words but I don't need to. We both know that it's not an idle threat. It's a promise. _

"_I can't wait." He says, raising his sword once more. As the fight continues, I lose track of Meghan's fight with Ferrum. Until her scream rings out through the room. I'm standing over Rowan, about to deliver the final blow. I can't stop myself from turning to look at her and my heart stops. She's bent over Ferrum, his hand inside her stomach. Her face is deathly pale and for a brief second, she meets my gaze. Pain and fear are laced with an apology and it's then that I realise. She knew that Ferrum was about to deliver the killing blow and she didn't stop him. I'm torn between anger and fear myself- anger at Meghan, for not stopping him and fear that I'm about to lose her like I lost Ariella all those years ago. While I've been focused on Meghan, Rowan has slipped out from under me. He brings his sword down, snapping my attention away from Meghan. _

"_Well little brother. It seems you have a decision to make. Kill me and lose her. Or save her and lose me." He leans casually against the wall. "The choice is yours." He's right and I know it. I can't do both, there's no time. I spare a quick glance at Meghan and my stomach clenches at the sight of her. Her face is screwed up and a surge of power suddenly ripples through the room and, a moment later, Ferrum lets out a yell as Meghan's glamour starts to take over. I feel a surge of pride – she finally managed to use her glamour. Maybe all those lessons in the clearing with Puck paid off? She slumps to the ground. I turn back to Rowan, my sword pointed at his chest._

"_I will kill you Rowan – this isn't over." _

"_Of course little brother. I look forward to it." He replies as I turn on my heel and race over to Meghan. I don't have to look behind me to know that Rowan is long gone. It doesn't matter, Meghan matters. Puck finishes his battle with Tertius and joins me on the floor next to the girl who stole both of our hearts. Her eyes are closed and her breathing is slow and laborious. I grasp her hand and squeeze it tightly, willing her to come back to me. _

I force myself out of that memory, before I remember…everything else. _I look forward to it_ he said. The tent flap suddenly opens, revealing Puck. His red hair as dishevelled as ever, a cheerful grin etched on his face. He doesn't know. He doesn't know Meghan is gone.

"Everything alright ice-boy? Only the Unseelie healers have been inundated with people suffering from wounds not sustained during battle. They look suspiciously like the wounds you might get from an ice shard being flung at you. Know anything about it?" I don't answer him – he knows full well that it was me.

"Hey what you got there?" He asks, coming to stand beside me. "Another rowan tree stick? What does your brother want now?" Puck and I had already had a heated discussion about the fact that I left Rowan alive that day – choosing Meghan's life over Rowan's. Puck was annoyed until I pointed out that he would have done the exact same thing in my position. He dropped it after that.

"A war." I mutter under my breath. Puck raises an eyebrow.

"Oookay. Have you told Meghan that her second favourite ice prince has sent us another message?" He looks around the tent. "Where is she anyway?"

"Rowan has her. That's why he left the rowan stick. He wanted me to know that he has her. He's goading me to go and get her."

"Woah, woah, woah. Back up a minute princeling. Did you just say Rowan has Meghan? How did that happen? Were you sleeping on duty?" I roll my eyes.

"Mab wanted to speak to me and Meghan wished me to go so as not to infuriate Mab any further. I was two tents away. He must have been waiting – knowing I'd have to leave her sooner or later."

"Please tell me you left someone outside guarding her?"

"No." I whisper, my stomach rolling. "I thought she'd be okay – I was only two tents away, I'd be able to get there if she needed me."

"Yeah well that went well." Puck mutters, shooting me a glare. I ignore him – I know I deserve to hear that and more; but I can't be distracted by insults and feelings of guilt - no matter how well earned they are

"If Rowan wants a war, then a war he'll get." I mutter, clutching the stick in my hand.

"That's all well and good but do you know where he's taken her?" Puck asks and I sigh.

"Somewhere in the Iron Kingdom but I'm not sure where." I pause. "But I know someone who probably will."

"Don't say it." Puck groans.

"We need to find a certain cat." I say, smirking as Puck raises his hands in despair.

"I told you not to say it." He says. I shrug and follow him out of the tent. _Hang on Meghan. I'm coming, just hang on._

* * *

**Thank you for your reviews - they make me so happy knowing people are reading and looking forward to the story :) So Rowan has Meghan and Ash and Puck have to first find Grimalkin before they can even think about rescuing Meghan. What does Rowan have planned for Meghan? What will happen when Ash eventually finds her? Will they get their well-deserved happily ever after or not? Please review and tell me what you think! xxx**


	3. Of deals and promises

**Meghan POV**

I wake up in a dark, damp cell. I'm just gonna throw tiny in there as well actually – a dark, damp, tiny cell. If I stretch out, I can plant my feet and arms on either wall without even eliciting pain from my stomach. I think back to how I got here. Looking up to see Rowan in all his iron-worn glory grinning down at me is enough to make anyone scream.

"Go on Princess – scream for Ash." He whispered in my ear. I kept my mouth shut. But when he flung me over his shoulder and carried me out of the tent I couldn't help myself. I screamed.

I hear a door open, rather than see it. Rowan bends down next to me, brushing my hair out of my face. I know its Rowan because of the snide remark he makes as he does so.

"How are you feeling Princess?" I glare at him in the dark.

"What do you want Rowan? Why did you do this?"

"Oh Princess, I haven't even started yet." He says, and I can tell he's grinning. He pushes something towards me – a tray – and says,

"Eat up Princess – you'll need all your strength for what comes next." The door shuts with a bang, leaving me alone in the darkness. I ignore the tray for the time being, and curl up into a ball in the corner. Part of me doesn't want Ash to come - to face whatever is left of me after Rowan starts his 'game'. But he will, I know he will. I just have to hold on till then.

"Please hurry Ash. Please hurry." I whisper into the darkness.

* * *

**Ash POV**

Walking through the Wyldwood with Robin Goodfellow is not relaxing. At all. For one thing, he doesn't shut up, so I constantly have to keep watch for any creature stupid enough to come close. A pine cone whizzes past my head. I stop and I turn to glare at him – silently daring him to do it again.

"Oh good, you are listening. I thought you'd gone deaf ice-boy." I roll my eyes.

"Just keep an eye out Goodfellow, he should be around here somewhere."

"Yeah, if you can believe anything a phouka says." Puck mutters. I raise an eyebrow in his direction.

"I didn't hear you volunteering another plan."

"That's because, as much as I hate to admit it, this is probably the best chance we've got of finding that damn cat. But, if he isn't here then I'm almost afraid of where we'll be going next."

"Well it is a good job I am here then." A familiar voice says. We both spin and look up. Perched in the crook of a tree, is Grimalkin.

"How long have you been there?" Puck asks.

"Goodfellow, I have been near you since you left camp. It is not my fault you don't use your eyes."

"Since we…left…camp?" Puck sputters. "Why didn't you tell us you were here?"

"Because, I wanted to be sure of your intent."

"So you've decided saving Meghan is worth your time Cait Sith?" I growl.

"Yes, for a price." My stomach clenches. Here we go.

"What do you want Cait Sith?"

Grimalkin ignores me, focusing instead on washing a paw. How Meghan hasn't strangled the cat yet is beyond me.

"It will cost you." Grimalkin says, not looking up from his task. I sigh and rake a hand through my hair.

"Whatever it costs I'll pay it." I start.

"Wait a second." Puck interrupts, gaining both mine and the cat's attention. He ignores my _what are you doing_ glare and focuses on Grimalkin.

"What if I took on ice-boy's debt instead? Would that work?" Grimalkin's yellow orbs gleam.

"Very well Goodfellow. You will pay the price for my help."

"Puck. Are you sure about this?" I ask quietly. I don't fully understand why he's willing to make a deal with the cat for me. Puck waves a hand in my direction, dismissing my worry.

"I'm always looking for an adventure to go on ice-boy, you know that, and I'm willing to bet whatever he wants will be pretty epic. But I'm touched that you care – Meghan would be proud." I roll my eyes as he turns back to face Grim.

"I do have some conditions of my own though Furball. I won't harm anyone, I will not turn against friends or allies, and I will not do anything until Meghan is safe and fully healed." The glimmer of a bargain shimmers in the air.

"Very well. You have a deal." Grim says, jumping out of the tree. He trots to the edge of the clearing, bushy tail pointed in the air.

"Oi, Furball! You do know where Rowan is don't you?" Puck calls as we follow. Grimalkin doesn't even turn around when he answers.

"When will you stop asking such foolish questions?"

"Well, I guess that's that then. " Puck says as we follow the grey cat.

"You didn't have to do that you know." I say quietly. Puck sighs.

"I know. But the way I see it, you have enough to worry about – Meghan's not going to come out of this one unscathed – and you don't need the added stress of wondering when Furball's going to turn up and call in his favor." I nod a thanks.

The sky darkens not long after we set off, forcing us to stop. Wandering the Wyldwood at night is just asking for trouble. I take first watch, sitting at the mouth of the cave that Grimalkin led us to, with only the crackle of the fire and Pucks snores filling the air, allowing my thoughts to drift to unpleasant places.

I know Rowan. He takes pleasure in others misery and torment – more so than any other Unseelie I've ever met. I watched him play with Meghan before; one of the many times I cursed the bargain that forced me to take her to Tir Na Nog. Worse, I saw what he did to her. In many ways, it changed Meghan for the better, it made her stronger and wiser. But I will never forget watching her during the Exchange. Watching as Rowan tormented her some more. I listened to their conversation so I know he used me as bait. I was expecting a glance in my direction at least; it's only through centuries of practice that I didn't look at _her_ every time _her_ name was mentioned. But she didn't. I saw her eyes that day, the eyes that were normally lit up with excitement and love. They were dead that day. Cold and distant and, seeing them – seeing her – like that made my heart clench and my stomach drop. She was a shell of the girl I'd fallen in love with and I have never, and will never, forgive myself for letting her become that.

Of course, that was only after one meeting with Rowan – she soon bounced back. I can't help but wonder what will happen after spending days with him. My heart clenches at the thought. _No. _I think firmly. _Meghan is strong. She'll fight whatever Rowan is planning to do to her. _I don't convince myself though. Rowan is experienced in these sort of games. He'll know that I'm coming to get her – that his time with her is short. He'll do anything to get the desired effect fast. I shake my head, trying to force the thought, the image of Meghan silent and dead inside, out of my mind. It doesn't work. Instead, I focus on the flames. Absently, I stroke the edge of the blade of my sword which is lying on my lap. There was a time, not too long ago actually, when I felt guilty about attacking Rowan. He is my brother and, although we have never been close, it still pained me to fight him with the intent to kill him. I don't feel any guilt now. His death is long overdue and I won't let him get away this time.

* * *

**Meghan POV**

I'm not sure how long I was left alone. Too long. I haven't moved since Rowan's last visit and my stomach aches from sitting curled up for too long. The food, also sits untouched. A fact I know I will regret later but, for now, I refuse to do as Rowan asks. It won't last much longer – any small signs of rebellion I can manage I will take. For Ash, if not for myself. Sitting there, curled up on the hard mattress, I suddenly realise how Paul must have felt when Puck and Ash were near him. Any sudden movement will draw unwanted attention towards you. As I'm contemplating just how long I can stay in this position before my injury demands that I move, the door opens with a clang. The figure in the doorway is holding a lamp, illuminating the all-too familiar silhouette of Rowan's Thornguards. I stand awkwardly, my body aching. The head guard grabs my wrist harshly, snapping handcuffs around them. They're expecting me to fight, I can see it in their posture, weary yet ready to fight back if the need arises. I raise my chin defiantly. Fine then, I'll go quietly. I'll be a model prisoner if I have to. Besides, this could work well for me; behaving now means they might be less likely to handcuff me in the future, giving me a chance to escape.

I'm led from my cell and it takes a few moments for my eyes to adjust to the sudden light. When they do, I immediately realise where we are. Machina's fortress. It kind of makes sense for Rowan to come back here. He launched an attack here, making sure no one would be here so he could just take over. It's weird, walking up the staircase to where I first fought Machina, where I was with Ash and Puck a few days before. The place is silent aside from the footsteps of the Thornguards echoing off the walls. I'm led into the Macina's old throne room and the handcuffs are taken off. Rowan is standing under what is now, Machina. I give a small nod towards the tree, comforted slightly by it's presence. Rowan doesn't acknowledge my presence but I feel the steely gaze of his elite guards piercing my back as I slowly walk over to join him. I stop just behind him, feeling my stomach somersault at the familiar appearance. From behind, Rowan is so similar to Ash it's heartbreaking. _God I miss him. _I think to myself as the silence drags on.

"It's hard to believe that this...thing...started everything, don't you think?" Rowan muses. I roll my eyes.

"Why am I here Rowan?" I ask, managing to keep my voice calm and steady, despite my stomach churning with fear.

"How is dear Ash?" He asks, completely ignoring my question. He turns and takes a step towards me, closing the gap between us. I freeze as he tucks my hair behind my ear.

"Is he on the way yet?" He asks as he brushes stray strands of hair off my neck. When I don't talk, he bends to whisper in my ear, his cold breath making me shiver.

"Not very talkative today are we?" He breathes before chuckling and moving away, giving me a chance to breathe.

"You see Meghan, you've put me in a very difficult position." He explains.

"How so?" I manage to say.

"Mab wants my blood as do many in the Winter Court. Glitch has banned us from the new Iron Kingdom in Mag Tuiredh so I am stuck here, in this derelict castle as the iron gradually kills me and my men off." He turns to look at me. "Yet you and dear old Ash seem to have everything. Tell me Meghan, how did it feel when Ash spoke the oath that would bind him to you? How did it feel hearing his True Name, knowing you hold more power than Mab over him? I know you trust him with your life Meghan and I think that needs to change, don't you?"

He walks back over to me, taking my hand and pressing it to his lips and I have to fight to repress the shudder that threatens to rack my body. Rowan and Ash might look similar, but they are so completely different. Only Rowan could make that gesture, a gesture that I used to associate with the first dance I had with Ash at Elysium, into something repulsive.

"When I am finished with you." He continues softly, "you will hate Ash as much as you hate me." My body goes cold. I still don't know exactly what Rowan is going to do to me but I know that it definitely isn't good. He's persistent and he knows how to play a game. He won't stop until he gets what he wants. And that's what scares me. As Rowan prowls silently round me, I close my eyes and promise myself that I will hold out against Rowan – I won't let him alter my feelings for Ash. I won't. After a few silent seconds, Rowan pounces, flinging me across the room, leaving my promise ringing in my ears.

_I won't forget Ash. I won't forget. _But my promise sounds depressingly hollow in my ears.

* * *

**How lucky are you - another update! This is thanks to an amazing Guest reviewer who has reviewed both chapters so far & your reviews totally make my day! It's like reading a running commentary of each chapter (which is totally brilliant so please don't take it the wrong way) - please, please keep reviewing they really make me smile :) :) :) :) **


	4. What did you do?

**MEGHAN POV**

Rowan looms over me as I struggle to stand. He pushes me back to the floor hard, knocking my breath out of me.

"Do you remember how Ash looked at you in the throne room at Tir Na Nog?" He asks quietly, punctuating the point with a well aimed hit to the stomach.

"No." I gasp even as the memory surfaces from where I shoved it all those weeks ago. The disgust and hate written clearly on Ash's face.

"Remember how he pushed you away in front of the whole Court. In front of Mab." Again, another hit, making me curl into a ball in a desperate attempt to protect myself. I couldn't stop the mental attack any more than the physical one and again, the memory of Ash coldly cutting me down in the throne room. Even though it's only a memory, my heart aches as I remember. _No Meghan. _I tell myself, as Rowan aims pulls me upright and flings me across the room again. _Ash loves you – he made the oath to become your knight, he defied Mab for you. Remember that. _I try but all I can hear is Ash coldly telling me,

_It's Prince Ash to you half-breed._

Rowan doesn't stop there. It goes on forever, until all my thoughts are centered on the cold refusals and cutting remarks that Ash has ever said to me. When I'm finally dragged back down to my cell, it's all I can do to keep the tears that have been threatening to fall inside. I manage to keep my composure until the door clangs shut and is locked, bathing me in darkness once more. It's only then, in the comfort of darkness, curled around my aching body, do I finally release the thousands of tears that have been building up inside.

I don't know how long I'm going to be in here, I don't know what else Rowan has planned for me. What scares me most of all though is not the impending torture; it's the fact that after only a few hours in Rowan's company, my memories of Ash and, more than that, my ability to dredge up the numerous happy memories I know are stored inside my head, is difficult. Not impossible, I can still remember his smile during our first dance at Elysium, the emotion in his eyes when I woke up after battling Ferrum. But I know it won't be long before they become jumbled with the memories that I desperately want to forget. The memories of the cold Unseelie Prince who plays with peoples emotions to get what he wants. The thought that I could be so close to losing the Prince I fell in love with scares me. Knowing there's nothing I can do to stop it, scares me even more.

**ASH POV**

We leave camp early the next morning. I refuse to let any exhaustion seep through. I kept watch the entire night, much to Puck's disgust. In all fairness, it probably wasn't the smartest move on my part, but I wouldn't have been able to sleep anyway. Images of Meghan battered and bruised beyond reognition haunted me all night long, allowing any trace of sleep to disappear completely.

Instead of leading us towards the Iron Realm like I expected, Grimalkin leads us along the border. Far enough away that the effects of iron don't affect us, but close enough so that the air is still tinged with a metallic taste. Being so close to the realm where Meghan is being kept, but not going near it is torture and I have to fight every urge in my body not to give up on the Cait Sith and go searching the Iron Kingdom myself.

"Where are we going Cait Sith?" I eventually ask. "We've been walking for hours and we're going further from the Iron Kingdom. Are you sure you know where Rowan is?"

"Of course I do Prince – it is quicker to go through the Briars. There is a trod that will take us directly to where Rowan and the human are."

"The Briars? Oh fantastic – did you not have enough fun last time Furball?" Puck asks, running a hand through his hair. I raise a questioning eyebrow in his direction, pulling us both to a stop.

"Meghan didn't tell you? Course she didn't. Well, lets just say that there is one particular dragon I would really rather not run into if it's all the same to you cat."

"A dragon? Goodfellow what did you do" I ask incredulously. I'm beginning to understand why Meghan didn't tell me about this particular adventure. She'd told me about going into the Briars but never more than that.

"Nothing actually." I snort.

"I find that hard to believe."

" I will have you know, I was concentrating on keeping Meghan alive – some of Lea's minions stole one of it's eggs and it woke up. We just happened to be in the firing line." I roll my eyes.

"Why does trouble seem to follow you around Goordfellow?"

"If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me that..." I add yet another mental image of Meghan being burnt alive by a dragon to my repertoire ready for my mind to torture me with later on.

"If you two are quite finished reminiscing. As I said, the Briars are much faster and it will give you much longer in the Iron Kingdom before you succumb to the effects of iron. Or do you not intend to kill Rowan as well as save the human." Grimalkin interrupts in a bored tone. I pause. The cat does have a point – walking through the Iron realm until we reach wherever Meghan is will take too long and too much energy.

"The Briars it is then." I say my mind made up. I ignore the shudder that passes through Puck. In truth, the Briars are the last place I want to be. The creatures that dwell inside are worse than any Puck and I have faced over the years – they're cruel, cunning and always hungry – but, if it gets me to Meghan faster then it's worth it.

We start walking in silence once more, my thoughts drifting to my brother and the most satisfying way of ending his life. I let my other senses take over while I muse the different possibilities. After several moments though, the silence breaks me out of my thoughts. I look over at Puck and raise an eyebrow at something is rarely seen in Robin Goodfellow's body language. Nerves.

"Nervous?" I ask, although it's obvious he is. He starts, his eyes darting around quickly before he settles down again.

"Me? Nervous? Never. But I'm touched that you care Princeling."

"Come on Puck, I know you well enough by now to know when you're nervous about something." I pause. "You're not scared of going through the Briars are you?" I know that will rile him – accusing Puck of being scared is almost as suicidal as accusing me of being scared. You don't do it unless you know the target really well.

"Course not." He sighs. "Meghan will be alright won't she?" The rest of my teasing disappears in an instant. I know Puck loves Meghan, he's made that blatantly obvious, but I wasn't expecting this.

"She'll be fine." I say, but I know it sounds false. I sigh and rake a hand through my hair. "I don't know Puck. I know what Rowan is like. When he's focused on the game there's no stopping him. Meghan is strong but after everything she's been through, everything she's seen, I don't know how much more she can take."

"He's going to break her, isn't he." I've never heard Puck so dejected. Ever. It's like he's given up. The reality of the situation begins to fully sink in. Puck's right – Rowan is going to try and break Meghan, to hurt me.

"He won't succeed. We'll stop him." I say, fierce determination filling my voice. I look over at Puck and my heart lifts slightly when I see his green eyes turn hard with the same determination.

"Yeah we will. And God help him if he's hurt Meghan in any way." He says, pulling out a dagger and throwing it in the air. I nod in agreement, glad to have steered clear of that little blip. Puck is normally the happiest, most annoying person on the planet – but he can also be one of the most dangerous. Lurking underneath the jokes and laughter is a personality that no one wants to see.

_And I thought I was the one Rowan should be afraid of. Goodfellow might be giving me a run for my money. _I think to myself, a small smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. I can't forget the cold, hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach though. The feeling that a couple of days – a couple of hours even – could be the difference between saving the Meghan I know and the Meghan that Rowan has destroyed. I force myself forward, though all I want to do is turn around and run back to the border which is suicide.

_Focus Ash. _I tell myself sternly, as I follow Puck further into the Wyldwood. _You don't even know where Meghan is. Wandering round the Iron Realm aimlessly is a sure fire way of getting yourself killed – and then what would Meghan do? _I shudder slightly at the thought of leaving her alone with Rowan. _Just follow the Cait Sith – he hasn't led you wrong so far. _With my resolve strengthened considerably, I quicken my stride and overtake Puck, making sure to keep the grey bushy tail firmly in my sights.


	5. Hours apart

_A quick heads up - I've changed slightly how Ash & Puck find out about Lea's deal but the deal is the same as in Summer's Crossing so I haven't written it all out. If you want to know exactly how the deal went down & have an e-reader, go & get Summer's Crossing. To cover my own back, there are a couple of spoilers from the book but not too many - I tried hard to keep spoilers to a minimum! _

* * *

**Ash POV**

It takes another day to reach the edge of the Briars. Another sleepless night, wondering where Meghan is and hoping she's okay. We set off early the next morning, none of us talking. I'm so lost in my thoughts that the sudden darkness from the Briars takes me by surprise. I look up, taking in the dark hedge, forcing myself to not dwell on what is hidden inside. Grimalkin doesn't stop or look back; just plows forward into the thorns forcing Puck and I to run to catch him up. The Briars are one of the most dangerous things in the entire Nevernever – you do not want to be walking through them alone.

The darkness swallows us immediately. Puck makes to throw some Faery fire into the gloom but Grimalkin stops him with a sinister hiss.

"Do you not remember what happened last time Goodfellow?" Puck winces at the memory making me doubly sure I don't want to know what happened whilst I was looking for the Scepter of the Seasons. "I thought so – lets not draw any unwanted attention to ourselves shall we?" Puck nods, withdrawing his hand. We walk slowly, keeping an eye out for anything that looks remotely hungry.

Just as I'm beginning to think that Grimalkin has absolutely no idea where he's going, I hear a rustle behind me. I spin round, my sword drawn in an instant. Puck turns to stand beside me, daggers poised and ready and I know without having to turn around that Grimalkin will have disappeared. Another rustle, closer this time, snaps my thoughts away from cursing the stupid cat. A second later, a small band of redcaps round the corner. I tighten my grip on the hilt of my sword for a fraction of a second longer until I register what exactly the redcaps are wearing. Around their necks, pink bow ties are tied tightly causing some of them to constantly pull at them, trying desperately to get them off; or to at least loosen them slightly. As one, Puck and I lower out weapons, although I keep hold of my sword, swinging it slightly by my leg. I can feel a small smile tug the corner of my lips as the redcaps stop and watch the blade as it moves.

"Razor Dan, long time no see." Puck says cheerfully. Razor Dan glares at him but doesn't answer. "What can we do for you fellas? Make it quick would ya – we're kind of on a dead line here." Puck continues, ignoring the mass glares being sent his way.

"We're here for the Winter Prince." The red cap eventually says. I raise an eyebrow.

"Me? What do you want me for?"

"Not us. Leanansidhe. It appears you have a deal to uphold." I barely conceal a groan. Of course the Queen of the Exiles would call in that favor now.

"Can it not wait?" I ask desperately. I can feel Puck's surprised gaze on my back – it's a point of pride that I always uphold my end of any deal no matter what. Ask Meghan – she knows that.

"No Winter Prince it cannot." Puck steps up beside me, stopping me from arguing the point further.

"Well then, it looks like we don't have a choice. After you fellas." He says, gesturing to the red-caps, ignoring the glare I'm now sending his way. After a moment, I follow, my heart aching with every step I take away from the path I should be on.

"Listen Ash, it'll be fine." Puck says cheerfully. The hostility of my glare goes up a notch.

"Fine? Every second I waste here, Meghan slips further away from me. From us." I say fiercely. There is no longer any doubt in my mind that Meghan will not be unharmed when I finally reach her. All I can do is get there as fast as I can. Which is something the entire Nevernever seems to be against me doing at this point. We walk along in silence after that, my outburst silencing even Puck. If I was in the right frame of mind – not working purely on adrenaline and stubbornness – I might have felt sorry for that. But I'm not in the right frame of mind. I am working purely on adrenaline and stubborness and my thoughts are bouncing between longing for Meghan, hoping she's alright, and a deep, dark rage against Rowan.

The red-caps lead us through a door and across a basement. We end up in a very familiar foyer and my heart sinks when I see the Queen of Exiles lounging on a sofa near a piano. She looks up when we come in.

"Darlings!" She says enthusiastically, getting up from the sofa. Her red hair is pinned back from her face, making her seem sterner than I remember.

"Lea." Puck greets her getting barely a nod in return.

"What do you want?" I ask my voice ice cold.

"Now darling, no need to be so icy. I need your help with a tiny matter. It'll be very quick darling I assure you; especially if you have Robin Goodfellow helping you."

"If it's only a small matter then surely it could wait?" I snap.

"I merely meant it would be a quick task for you to complete. I've heard about your little journey to get your beloved Princess back-"

"Word travels fast." Puck mutters.

"You know I make a point of keeping tabs on things Robin. Anyway, I know about your journey and I'm afraid it could take a while to get the Princess back to her old self and I can't wait that long. So really darling, it must be done now." I sigh, resisting the urge to rake a hand through my hair. I knew I wouldn't be able to get out of this one, I can only hope that Lea is right – it's a quick task to complete.

"You still haven't told me what you want me to do." I say, barely suppressing a shudder at the disarming smile she throws me.

"Well, you see I've lost something. Something very important to me."

"Are we talking losing a ring down a drainpipe kind of lost or something bigger?" Puck interrupts, wincing slightly as an army of smoke soldiers charge from Lea's cigarette towards Puck. "No need for that, I was just asking."

"As I was saying," Lea continues, glaring at Puck who shrugs innocently back. "I've lost a violin. It's very special to me and I want you to get it back for me." I raise an eyebrow.

"It must be important for you to call in our deal for a violin. There must be something you're not telling us."

"Ah. You see, when I say I 'lost' it, what I really mean was it was stolen."

"Oh fantastic." I mutter, but Lea carries on as if I hadn't spoken.

"That bitch Titania stole my violin off me and I want it back. That is your task darling."

"What?" It's very rare for someone to shock me so much that I can't speak. After a moment of staring at the Exile Queen in disbelief I manage to regain my ability to speak. "You're asking me to sneak into Arcadia, steal something from the Queen and get out alive? You're insane."

"That is why I'm glad Robin was with you when I sent for you. I'm sure this is right up his alley." Puck opens his mouth to speak but Lea hurries on before he can.

"Razor Dan will show you to the appropriate trod. When you get it, just bring it back here. Someone will show you the way. Until we meet again pet." And with that, she stalks from the room, leaving us standing in the foyer staring at the spot where she once stood.

"Well. I wasn't expecting that." Puck says slowly. I nod in agreement. After a moment, I turn to face him.

"This is your task more than mine Goodfellow. If we're going to get to Meghan I'm going to...need your help." I say.

"Did it hurt you to say that?" Puck asks grinning. I roll my eyes, knowing he's already got a plan in mind. "Come on then Princling, it's a long walk to Arcadia." I groan as I follow him and Lea's redcaps, hardly believing my rotten luck.

* * *

**Meghan POV**

I've been here for days. I know I've been here for days because Rowan tells me so. I'm curled up on my mattress in my cell, relishing the silence and the darkness that surrounds me because I know it won't last long. Rowan lets me have only a few hours sleep at a time so my internal body clock is screwed up – that's why I rely on him to tell me how long I've been here. Which is really annoying. I suck in another breath, no longer wincing at the pain it causes. My stomach growls loudly in the silence but I don't move. I made that mistake before. A full tray of food lies to my side; the guards replenishing the full trays every so often. I guess Rowan was right that first day, to make the most of the food while I could eat it. I'd tried eating some of the bread a few days before and regretted it almost instantly. Not only did it rub my throat raw, my stomach wasn't used to the food and instantly rejected it. I don't know how long I spent curled up in a corner throwing up half a slice of bread. Needless to say, I haven't been too excited to repeat the experience.

I cough into the mattress to muffle the sound, wishing that I hadn't drunk all the water earlier. That's about all I can manage at the minute. Water. It soothes the fire in my throat and settles nicely in my stomach but it's becoming much harder to save it – the urge to down the pitchers of water as soon as I get them is insane. In between ignoring my stomach's cries for food, trying to satisfy my need for water and trying to not think about how long I've been here alone I try to catch as much sleep as I can. But it's difficult – it's so difficult. Nightmares plague me everytime I shut my eyes, but I can no longer tell whether the nightmares are made up or if they're memories. As much as my body needs the sleep, I'm scared to close my eyes, scared of what I'll see. I'm pathetic.

So, as I lie there trying to force myself to sleep, I think about Ash. About why it's taking him so long to come for me. What's more important than coming to get me? Wow – that came out psycho-possessive and slightly obnoxious. Argh, I'm spending waay too much time with Rowan! I close my eyes (not that it makes much of a difference considering there's no light in my dark, damp little cell) and let my thoughts drift off again. Maybe this is what Ash wanted. I mean, I did bind him to another promise – he must have made more bargains with me in a year than he has in his whole life. How could anyone want to come and save someone who binds you into doing something? Maybe that's why he hasn't come to get me. Maybe he felt like he had to agree to becoming my knight – I can't remember if there was a hint of anger when I asked him, before he got down on one knee and said that oath. Maybe Rowan is right, I'm a waste of space and Ash doesn't want me-

No. I pinch my arm sharply, muffling a yelp into the mattress. I peel my eyes open and force my thoughts off that self-destructive path. This is what Rowan wants. He wants me to question my relationship with Ash. I know that Ash would never have agreed to that oath if he didn't truly want to be with me. The arguments about my safety happened because he was worried about me, not because he didn't trust me like I was starting to think. I gave Ash a choice whenever I could – I didn't force him into anything. I think. Hot tears stream down my face at the confusion I'm feeling. Once upon a time I wouldn't have questioned my relationship with Ash – it was what it was. Beautiful and magical and perfect. Now, I'm questioning everything. Everything shared glance, every moment spent together and apart. Analyzing it and breaking it down until I'm not sure whether it's the same memory I started out with. Now I've started crying I can't stop and I let the flimsy barrier I've constructed around my tattered memories come crashing down, long past caring how much it's going to hurt me seeing Ash cut me down again and again before kissing me. A snowstorm of memories flutter through my mind, dancing at Elysium, Ash choking me in my home, sending the bogey to protect Ethan once we saved him, the glare he gave me during my stay at the Winter court, how he almost died protecting me right here in the Iron Kingdom. All my memories rolled up into one confusing mess. All because of Rowan.

I bite down a scream. A scream of anger and rage and pain. A scream begging to be set free, to be let go. I desperately try to call up glamour – summer **or **iron – anything. But all I get is a small flicker of energy deep, deep down but it's not strong enough to do anything – hell, I'm not strong enough to do anything. Constant beatings, lack of sleep and food and my recent encounter with Ferrum have all resulted in me being too damn weak to do anything to help myself.

I curl up tighter, ignoring the sharp pain of the wound in my stomach, strands of greasy hair soaking up the tears that are flowing steadily. I want Ash so much it hurts. I could use some of his steady reassurance, or Puck cracking jokes and making even the bleakest situation brighter. I could even stand Grimalkin's riddles and sarcasm – and inevitable escape route actually. I need my family. No, there's something else that I want more than Ash to be here – I want him to find me whole. The Meghan he left behind in the tent but she's gone, if she ever existed at all. When I was stuck in Tir Na Nog, I pretended I was made of iron – nothing could penetrate me, but that strategy stopped working for me after day 1 here. So I've tried pretending that I'm ice inside – still impenetrable but it's not as strong as iron. And the ice has been melting – slowly but surely and now, lying here in my cell, I'm sure that there's nothing left. There is nothing but melted ice protecting me from Rowan's onslaught and I'm pretty sure it's been that way for at least a couple of days now. The rage inside me turns to fear. I'm scared. I'm so, so scared of who I'm turning into. I can feel it happening, the change occurring inside of me and I hate that it's taken Rowan a few days to do that. To completely change me.

How much faith do I have in myself? In Ash? In Puck if it's taken a few days to make me question everything I've ever seen or done whilst in the Nevernever? A thought enters my mind, something that I've thought about before and quickly pushed away but right now I don't have the energy to push it away again. What if, when Ash finally gets here (and he will, I know he will) and he finds me, what if he hates what he sees? What if he's sick that I let Rowan sink his claws into me, sick that I gave up so quickly. What if he gives up on me? A sharp stab of fear, stronger than anything else, surges through me and I muffle a sob. He won't give up on me, he won't. He won't, he won't, he won't.

I hear metal footsteps walking down the corridor and hurriedly dry my eyes. Rowan thinks I'm weak already, seeing me crying won't help. I stay still and listen as the footsteps get closer and closer until they stop outside the door. Normally, I would at least face the door – anything to limit the beatings I get from Rowan and the guards but not today. I'm tired of fighting for something I'm not completely sure is real anymore. So today, I stay curled up facing the wall. I hear the key scrape in the lock, and the door pushed open with a clang.

"Come along Princess, Rowan is waiting." A Thornguard leers from the doorway. I stay still, filling my thoughts with Ash – all of my memories good and bad. His silver eyes shining with emotion, the stoic mask he had to wear in front of his family for so many years.

"Aw, looks like we're doing this the hard way then boys." The same Thornguard says after a moment with barely concealed joy, and I begin to rethink my decision to stay still. A second later my arms are wrenched high above my head and shackled together. I can't keep the moan of agony back. I'm dragged outside by my arms. Stupidly, I try to wriggle out of the shackles. This didn't work. At all. Actually, it made the pain a whooollleee lot worse. After a while I stopped, giving in to the immovable force of the Thornguards.

"You know Princess," the guard walking beside me says conversationally. "You could have saved yourself all of this if you had just co-operated." In a brief moment of insanity I look up at him and spit at him. I miss, but it did the job. Of course, it's only **after **I have my second of bravery (or stupidity depending on which way you look at it) that I realise exactly what I've done.

"You'll pay for that you little-" I'm jerked to a stop and my arms are relaxed a little bit and I barely suppress a sigh of relief. Then I realise where I am. They wouldn't I try to convince myself. They seriously wouldn't do it. Of course they will. After a second I'm dragged unceremoniously up the stairs. After what seems like years we finally reach the top and enter Machina's throne room. That's what it still is to me anyway. I'm thrown under the tree and I stay there, my hands still shackled, panting and trying not to cry.

"What happened?" Rowan asks from above me and I flinch at the cold tone in his voice. Cold means danger; I know that first hand.

"She refused to co-operate your Highness." The Thornguard I spat at earlier says formally. Rowan turns me sharply onto my back, forcing me to look at him.

"Now Princess," he says softly, danger screaming at me with every breath he takes. "Why add to the bruises you already have hm?" He runs his fingers down my cheek and towards my lips just like Ash used to do. I wait until his fingers run along the parting of my lips before raising my head and biting him as hard as I can. Rowan jerks back, rage filling his eyes but I don't care. He was going to beat me anyway, I've just sped up the process. He doesn't say anything, just glares at me and for that I'm glad. This Rowan I can deal with – the angry, cold Rowan who shoots glares at you that could probably kill you is so much easier to deal with because he doesn't talk. When Rowan talks, it's to lead you round and round in circles until you can't stand up straight let alone think right. He's a master of manipulation – so I'm quite glad that I've annoyed him so much that he won't talk to me. He starts to circle me like I'm a statue in a museum, but I'm so tired now that I don't care.

"Stop stalling and just get on with Rowan." I say, wincing at how weak my voice sounds as it echoes around the room. Rowan stops and smirks before giving me an exaggerated bow.

"As you wish Princess." He says with a grin. And so it begins again. With every blow I can feel Rowan subtly manipulating my emotions, molding them so that I have the right reaction. My stomach rolls when I realise that it's working. I'm no longer just scared, I'm terrified and I desperately work to try and turn that fear off. After a long time I manage it, but not before I have one last forbidden thought. The realisation that, if Ash was here, he'd be disappointed with me. Once, this thought alone would have given me some semblance of strength to push through this torture. Now, I'm struggling to remember why I cared what he thought about me in the first place.

* * *

**Ash POV**

I carry Lea's sleeping violin in my arms down the quiet street. I'm starting to think Puck put way too much sleeping powder in that frosting but it's too late now. Deep down, a flicker of envy takes me by surprise – I wish I could just sleep through this nightmare and wake up thinking it was just a dream. Puck and I stop outside an ordinary brick house.

"This the place?" I ask Puck, shifting the girl in my arms slightly.

"Think so, as long as Lea's telling us the truth." He sees the look I give him and grins. "Trust me ice-boy, Lea's telling us the truth, did you see her face when she saw the mirror? She wouldn't dare give us the wrong place for fear of losing her precious mirror all over again." I shrug in agreement. Puck starts up the path but I stop him.

"Don't start any trouble Goodfellow." I warn him, ignoring his '_who me'_ look. "Lets just drop her off and go. We've wasted enough time already."

"I'm hurt that you think I would put our mission at risk like that Ash." Puck says dramatically and I roll my eyes. With a flourish, Puck opens the door and we step inside. I immediately head for the stairs, inwardly groaning as Puck heads straight for the kitchen. I swear he doesn't listen to a word anyone says. Ever. I pause for a moment, debating between going after Puck or dropping the girl off. I sigh and carry on up the stairs. Puck's been around longer than me – although you wouldn't know it sometimes – he can take care of himself. I step onto the landing and peer through the half open door in front of me, a small smile tugging my lips when I see two adults asleep inside. So she does have a family that misses her.

I carry on down the hall, opening the next door gently. Another little girl, younger than the one in my arms is asleep inside but she stirs when I open the door. I carry on down the hall; I'll close her door again later. Finally, at the far end of the hall, is another bedroom. I step inside and set the girl gently on the bed. It's too dark to get a good look at the room and I don't have time to waste admiring the decor. Instead, I wrap a blanket around the girl and leave her alone. I hurry back down the hall, pausing only to close the door that I left open earlier and downstairs. I head to the kitchen and grimace when I see the mess that Puck has managed to make in only five minutes.

"Can I not leave you alone for five seconds?" I ask wearily. Puck looks up at me, the picture of innocence, even with his mouth full of muffins. I grab his arm and pull him up from the table.

"Clean it up Goodfellow. Now." I growl. He gets the message because in an instant the kitchen is clean once more. Once I'm satisfied, I drag Puck outside and down the front path. A familiar, sarcastic voice floats up from the gate.

"There you are. Why must you insist on taking so long to complete a simple task?" I blink and Grimalkin appears, perched on the wooden gate, tail flicking in annoyance.

"What part of stealing the winter prince into Arcadia to steal something from my Queen is simple to you cat?" Puck grumbles as he launches himself over the fence. "Besides, I didn't see you around offering any suggestions." Grimalkin jumps off the fence before I push it open and stalks to the edge of the pavement before turning to see if we're following.

"Well? Are you coming or not? Leanansidhe has given me a shortcut we can use to get us to the correct trod." He levels a stare at us, making me feel completely stupid. Almost like he's trying to tell me something but I'm not getting it. At. All. After a second he continues. "We can be in the Iron Kingdom by dawn if we hurry." My heart lifts slightly. Dawn. I look up at the still dark sky. A few hours and I'll be with Meghan again.

"Well then, what are we still doing here?" Puck asks cheerfully and I know he's cheered by the prospect of being so close to our goal. I share a small smile with him.

"Lets go." I say, following Grimalkin down the dark street, the tightness in my chest eased now that I'm almost there.

* * *

**Heeellllooooo. I'm sorry about the delay but I was on holiday & had no internet so I had to copy up all the handwritten notes I had made for this chapter. BTW this is my longest chapter ever. Ever. You should be so proud because I know I am! I hope you enjoy this new long chapter and the next one will be up soon - Ash is almost there! How do you think the showdown between brothers is going to go? And will Meghan be able to hold on just a .longer? xxx**


	6. Meghan

**Ash POV**

As soon as I step out of the trod, I'm hit by the stench of iron; so strong I can't help but gag. Puck steps out behind me a second later and his face immediately pales. We are deep within the Iron Realm now, I can feel it working it's way through my body, stealing my energy and my strength. Both Puck and I stand there for a moment, trying to grow accustomed to the weakness spreading over me.

"Well, are you two just going to stand there and let the iron consume you or are you going to go and rescue the girl?" Grimalkin asks, jumping down from his perch on a metal tree stump and walking off, his grey tail blurring with the thick smog that seems to be a permanent fixture here. Puck glares at him.

"How is it whenever we come here, he's always alright?" Puck asks as we slowly follow behind taking care to conserve as much energy as possible.

"I don't know but he's probably been planning this for days." I reply absently focusing instead on my surroundings. Or lack of surroundings. It was never beautiful here but now there's nothing. At all. Where the castle once stood towering above everything else, now stands ruins. Impossibly large cogs and gears are showered everywhere and moss is creeping up the sides of what's left of the building; a remnant of Meghan's power. What's even more eerie is the silence. It doesn't matter where you go in the Nevernever, there is always something making a noise. Even in the depths of Tir Na Nog where you would think silence prevails, things that shouldn't make a noise under normal circumstances do. Falling snow for example. When staying at the court itself becomes too much, but I'm forbidden from leaving the Winter realm, I will go out as far as I can until the snow hitting the tree trunks is all I can hear. I did that a lot; especially when Ariella died.

I shake my head, stopping my thoughts from following down that forbidden path and refocus on my original thought. There's still no sound.

"Puck stop." I say softly. He does so, looking at me in confusion.

"What's up ice-boy?" I hold up a hand, silently telling him to be quiet as I unsheathe my sword. There's something wrong here. I spin slowly, looking for the disturbance but I can't find anything. I know I didn't imagine it. I sense it at the last second and spin around, bringing my sword up in one smooth move. Behind me, Puck yelps as he sees what's happening. Half a dozen Thornguards surround us, their uniforms old and tattered. Spikes are missing in most of the armour and there are large gashes running down the front. Scars leftover from their last battle.

"Huh. Looks like we missed a few ice-boy." I glare as the Thornguards advance together, pushing us back. Deep down I knew we'd missed some of Rowan's elite guard during the battle with Ferrum but I had hoped that we wouldn't see them again. Apparently, I was wrong.

"How'd you want to do this prince?" Puck asks as we take another step back. I don't answer him, my mind reeling. They're forcing us backwards. Towards the castle. Towards Meghan. Well then, we'll just give them what they want. Without lowering my sword I take a bigger, unprovoked step back, gauging their reaction. The guards watch with a detached amusement but come no further. I look over at Puck and nod my head in the direction of the castle.

"Really?" He asks, raising an eyebrow at me even as he takes another, larger step backwards.

"Really. I came here for Meghan – the sooner I can get to her the better." I say. Puck shrugs.

"On three then. One...two...three." And with that, we both turn on our heels and run towards the bridge. Grimalkin is waiting by the castle door.

"The princess is with Machina and your brother is with her I believe. You shouldn't encounter any resistance prince but do be careful. It would be most tiresome to spend more time than necessary in this place because you and Goodfellow couldn't contain yourselves." Before Puck can say anything to annoy the cat, I grab his sleeve and pull him harshly along behind me, leaving a smug Grimalkin to disappear behind us.

* * *

We make our way up the castle, listening for any sign of an ambush. But the castle is silent. It seems like Grimalkin was right. Rowan and the rest of the guards will be waiting for us upstairs with Meghan. Finally we reach the staircase that leads up to Machina's throne room. As we advanced through the castle, it started to become harder and harder to keep the contents of my stomach down and it became even harder when I saw what was dotted on the stairs.

Blood.

Not a lot – nothing deathly serious but I know that it belongs to Meghan. I doubt a Thornguard cut himself on one of the thorns adorning his uniform after all. That blood has just sealed my worst fears. Rowan has not only hurt Meghan, but toyed with her. Played her. Tortured her. A familiar cold, empty feeling settles in my stomach; overwhelming everything – even the nausea that comes from over exposure to iron. I haven't felt this way since before I met Meghan. She reminded me that there was more to life than living in the past, living in guilt and anger at the things I've lost. Now, there's the real possibility that I've lost, or am loosing her, to Rowan and that thought alone propels me swiftly up the staircase, Puck close on my heels. One thought echoes with every step that I take – I won't lose her as well. I can't.

It seems only seconds later that Puck and I are outside the door to the throne room. I stand on one side and Puck stands on the other, fierce determination mirrored in both of our eyes. I only have to look at Puck's face, the fear and love clearly shown to know just how much he loves her and I take a second to marvel at just how easily Meghan has gripped both Puck and I. We were once friends, then enemies and now. Well, I'm not totally sure what we are now. Puck nods at me once, bringing me out of my daydream. How I can daydream at this moment in time is beyond me. I shake my head slightly, forcing the thought of finally seeing Meghan again out of my mind, making myself focus instead on Rowan and allowing the anger that has been building for the past week or so lose at last. Puck rests his hand on the door and after a heartbeat pushes it open.

With my sword raised and Puck's daggers at the ready, we edge into the room. I look around the room, my heart thudding in anticipation. Unable to keep her at bay, the memory of her smile and her laugh fills my mind. At first glance the room is empty. Machina's tree still stands tall and proud and I have to suppress a shudder. I don't care if Ferrum was the real evil Iron King, I can't forget my first visit to the Iron Realm when I was captured by Machina.

My eyes continue to search the room in desperation now. Grimalkin said she'd be here – and as annoying as he is, the cat is never wrong. So where is she? Where is-

My thoughts shut off at the same time as my thudding heart skips a beat. She's turned away from me; lying on her stomach in the corner of the room. I can't help but break the silence.

"Meghan." I whisper with a small smile.

* * *

**And so our princess is found - but in what state? And where's Rowan? Stay tuned to find out! :) xxx**


	7. I promise you

**Ash POV**

I glance round one last time before racing over to Meghan, dropping down next to her, my hands trembling with anticipation. I scan her body, feeling my blood start to boil when I see the amount of bruises and dried blood on her skin. Resting a hand gently on her bare arm I wait for a second to see if she'll turn around. Nothing. I bend right over her and see her eyes are closed and my heart clenches in fear. She's not just cold, she's freezing. Almost as cold as me – Rowan is going to pay for this. I shake her gently, desperately trying to wake her up.

"Meghan." I hiss, taking another glance around noticing Puck standing behind me, daggers still in hand; alternating between watching Meghan and I and keeping an eye out for my traitorous brother.

"Meghan please. Please wake up." I say, forcing back tears. I can't bear to see her like this. Cold and still and hurt and... I swallow as a word I would never normally use about Meghan but perfectly describes her right now comes to mind. Vulnerable. My infuriatingly stubborn Meghan, who doesn't let anyone push her around, not even Faery Queens, is vulnerable. And I hate that. There's a scuffle behind me and it takes all my energy to pry my eyes off of Meghan now that I've finally found her.

I turn around, sword in hand and come face to face with Rowan. The scuffle I heard was Puck, fighting with some of the Thornguards and I feel a surge of emotion towards him – even though he loves Meghan as much as I do, he let me stay with her and took on the threat alone. At the same time though, I have to fight the urge to roll my eyes at his sheer bullheadedness and I can't help but wonder if Meghan's stubbornness is inherited through genes or whether she learnt it from Puck. Knowing Meghan, it's probably a little of both.

"Having a good look little brother?" Rowan asks peering over my shoulder at Meghan. I stand straighter, blocking his view as much as possible.

"What did you do to her?" I snarl, pointing the tip of my blade at his neck. Rowan doesn't move, he stands there smirking at me which only infuriates me more.

"What...did...you...do...to her?" I ask again, feeling the anger and loss and grief that has built up over time – the product of my true Unseelie self – bubble up inside. My hands tremble from both the anger and the iron exposure and Rowan easily slides his hand to the blade and pushes it away from his neck. He steps towards me slowly and deliberately so he's right in front of me.

"I broke her." He whispers in my ear before pulling back to show me the full extent of his smirk and the pleasure he's gained from torturing her. I bring my blade up again with a roar of fury, with Rowan doing the same. Our blades slam together with more force than I have ever encountered. As I alternate between dodging blows and giving them out I realise that I've never fought so hard in my life. My work is rewarded just minutes after our fight starts; for the first time, I'm the first to draw blood. My blade plunges deep into Rowan's shoulder. I pull it out and watch with a detached satisfaction as he clutches the wound with his free hand, blood seeping through his fingers.

Deep, but not deep enough.

He staggers back a step before straightening up and raising his blade once more.

"You're going to have to try harder than that little brother." He says cockily, but I still catch a glimpse of the wince he tried to hide.

"Fine with me." I mutter as we start to circle each other once more. This time, Rowan attacks first and I have to jump back to miss the blow. In the process of doing that though, I manage to kick Meghan in the side. Not gently either. My stomach constricts and my heart aches as, even unconscious, she lets out a whimper and a single tear leaks from her closed eye. I glare at Rowan, knowing he did that deliberately.

"So it's not enough that you've tortured her now you want to get me involved as well?" I hiss at him, loud enough for him to hear my anger but quiet enough that, if Meghan is coming around, then she won't hear me. I don't want her to know that it was me kicking her and not Rowan – that can only end badly. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Puck facing off the leader of Rowan's Thornguard's. They're fighting almost as hard as Rowan and I are but the Thornguard is slowly gaining ground. Until another Puck creeps up behind him and stabs him in the back. I bite back a grin before turning my full attention back to my brother.

Rowan's shirt is still covered in blood but I can feel my energy slowly draining away the longer I stay here. I grit my teeth in determination, whatever I'm going to do, I'm going to have to do it now. I raise my sword a little higher but, before I can bring it down on top of my brother, Rowan starts talking.

"Where did your princess get hurt again Ash?" He asks conversationally. I stay silent, knowing he doesn't need an answer. I'm opposite Meghan now – far enough away that whatever Rowan is planning to do to her (and I have a pretty good idea what he's planning), I won't get to her in time but close enough to be able to see everything that he does to her.

True to form, Rowan steps over Meghan and bends over her and pushes her thin shirt up, showing the wound left over from Ferrum. It looks awful – it should have started to heal by now but instead it looks infected. Then it hits me and I instantly feel completely stupid for not realising this earlier – Rowan hasn't let the wound heal because each time he reopens it, it inflicts more pain than before. You never get used to the sharp stab of pain that comes from being stabbed – I learnt that the hard way – and it kills me that Meghan's had to learn that lesson as well. He raises his blade and, even as I start to run, he plunges it down. Meghan arches her back, her eyes flying open in pain but for once, it's not Meghan I'm focused on.

As Rowan pulls out his blade I strike, plunging my blade straight into his heart. He looks up at me unsurprised. This was how he wanted to go; knowing he'd caused me the worst pain imaginable.

"It looks like you finally managed to kill me little brother." He says, his trademark smirk still etched on his face.

"Go to hell Rowan." I mutter, pulling my blade out and turning to Meghan as my brother turns to ice and shatters in front of me. I kneel next to Meghan, Puck on the other side, and I'm struck by the similarity of the situation. Just a couple of weeks ago, Puck and I were in this exact position, trying to desperately stop the bleeding, to save the life, of the girl we both loved. Puck already has his hands over the wound, trying to stop the bleeding. I lay my sword down next to me – the last thing I need is to scare her by pointing a sharp object at her – and cup my hand over her cheek, forcing her to look at me. Her eyes aren't focused and I'm not sure how much she can hear, let alone understand but I have to say something. I haven't come all this way to not say anything to her when I finally find her. She coughs a little, her breath is shallow and raspy and it pains me seeing her like this. Her eyes flicker shut and in the quiet, the absence of her short, rasping breath is huge.

"No." I whisper in horror. "No, no, no, no, no." Even as I say it, my hands are working on autopilot. Leaving her face, they make their way to her heart, desperately feeling for a pulse. There isn't one. I start to pump, desperate for a flutter, to hear her heart beat again. As I watch her, I can see her aura flicker and dim. The sickly grey of despair and the blue tinge of sadness, and the faintest hint of rose pink – the essence of Meghan – slowly fading away. She's leaving me.

I can see Puck trying to tighten the bandages as fast as he can – anything he can do to help – anything he can do, to not see her go. I close my eyes, continually pumping her chest, trying to force her body to work again because I can't lose her. I can't. An idea begin to form in my head. Opening my eyes, I see that her aura has almost completely disappeared, and, although it kills me to do it, I start to stop pumping. Much to Puck's dismay.

"Ash? What are you doing?" His voice is choked with unshed tears but I don't take my eyes of Meghan. I lay a hand over her heart and, with every ounce of strength I have in my body, I will her to take my energy.

"Take it Meghan. Please, take it – whatever you need just don't go. Don't leave me." A cool tear streaks down my face but I don't wipe it away. For a long moment, I don't think it's going to work, but then my aura starts to wrap itself around Meghan. Bright streaks of love and hope and happiness (I'm not giving her an aura full of sadness and despair after all) embracing her small, frail body. Puck lays his hand over mine.

"Mine too princess. Take whatever you need." He whispers and, almost immediately this time, the same thing starts to happen to Puck's aura. An aura cannot heal a person – it doesn't work that way, no matter how much I wish it did – but it's still a powerful thing. A bright aura is attractive to fey and generally to other people. It can give people immense strength in the toughest times. A powerful aura attracts people to it, offering the bearer love and support when they need it. That's what Meghan needs now. The bleeding has stopped, although it's still dangerous to her health, if we can get her to a healer soon she'll be okay. What Meghan needs is to know that someone else is here is take the strain – to look after her and protect her. An aura is a powerful thing and, when used wisely, can heal someone better than any medicine or healer. At least, that's what I hope.

After a while, I pull back my hand. Meghan's aura is now bright again and she's breathing. Maybe I was wrong about it not physically healing. It seems to have convinced her heart otherwise. She's still unconscious and for that I'm thankful. This journey is going to be painful; time is of the essence with her re-opened wound. It's probably better for everyone that she's not awake for this.

I scoop her gently into my arms, her head resting against my chest and her long blonde hair spilling down over my arm. Last time I carried her like this, I swear she was heavier. I'm even more iron sick now than I was before, yet I can carry her with no problem. She's lost more weight than I realise and that thought scares me. Meghan has always been thin, but she's always eaten. Granted, she sometimes needed prodding to look after herself but she had a lot on her mind. She would never let herself starve to death so either Rowan didn't feed her (which wouldn't surprise me) or she physically couldn't eat. I don't know which is worse.

We walk out of the tower without opposition. There's no one left to stop us. Crossing the bridge, I spot Grimalkin hovering by a trod.

"Ah, there you are. You do like to take your time don't you prince." I don't dignify that with an answer. Meghan would be proud. If she was awake to see it. I swallow that thought.

"Well come on then. We had best be getting the princess back. This trod will take us directly to Arcadia. I stop.

"Arcadia?" I ask roughly. The cat just looks at me like I'm stupid. "I can't go there Grim you know that. But I'm not leaving her, not again. We have to go somewhere else."

"Relax prince. Lord pointy ears has already consented that, when the summer princess returns, you shall remain with her, as will Goodfellow over there. It has already been passed – you are free to enter and stay in Arcadia. Now, are we going or not?" I nod mutely. I knew the knights oath was strong, but strong enough to convince Oberon to let me, a Winter fey, stay at Arcadia? I look down at the girl in my arms. She looks so much younger when she's asleep. Younger and innocent and vulnerable in every sense of the word. Yet she's done so much for the Nevernever. She's stopped two fey rulers, two fey wars, started to heal a rift between...friends...and taught me what it means to truly love someone. I bend my head down and kiss her gently on the forehead.

"I promise you Meghan. One day, you won't have to fight anymore. We can have a normal life, without the fighting and the death threats and the enemies. I promise you, I will give you the life you deserve." With that, I step through the trod; Grimalkin in front, Puck by my side, and the girl I love in my arms. We're a long way from being able to make good on that promise, but I have no doubt that we'll get there eventually. Because after everything we've been through, I'm not going to let her fall at the last hurdle.

* * *

**I am so sorry for the late update guys - I'm writing this on my sister's laptop (explains a lot lool) and I started college again this week so it's been pretty hectic. As a thank you for sticking with me, a nice long update for you all! So, Meghan is now back with Ash and Puck BUT how has her time with Rowan affected her and how will Ash cope when he realises just what his brother has done? Will he be able to stand up to the pressure or will he break his promise? Find out soon xoxoxoxoxo**


	8. Waiting game

"So when you said the trod will take us _directly _to Arcadia, what you really meant was the trod will drop us half a days ride from the Palace?" Puck asks glaring at Grimalkin who shrugs nonchalantly.

"We are in Arcadia are we not? I said it would take us to Arcadia – not that it would take us to the Palace." I groan.

"We don't have time for this." I say, shifting Meghan slightly in my arms, trying to hold her in a way that won't aggravate her injuries but I sense I'm fighting a loosing battle on this one.

"Indeed Prince. That is why I called in a favour." On cue, a gleaming chestnut horse steps out from under the shadows of the trees. It watches me for a minute and then lies down on the grass, allowing me to get on it's back without jostling Meghan too much. Once I've got us both settled, the horse stands again, waiting for my command to move forwards. Puck glares again at Grim who ignores it.

"Don't want to sound greedy, but don't I get a horse as well."

"I was under the impression you have other modes of transport Goodfellow."

"What are you talking about you stupid c-" It hits me what Grimalkin has planned.

"You have wings Puck." I say. He raises an eyebrow at me questioningly.

"Yes and?" At this point, I'm about ready to hit my head off a tree trunk but I stifle my annoyance. Barely.

"Use your wings and go ahead and get a healer ready." I say slowly.

"Oh. Right. Now I feel stupid." Puck says sheepishly. I raise an eyebrow at him.

"Goodfellow."

"What?"

"Why are you still here?" He smacks a palm to his head.

"Oh yeah, right. I'll see you in a bit ice-boy." And in a flurry of feathers, Puck takes off. I sigh as Grimalkin jumps up behind me.

"I would suggest setting off Prince if I were you. The princess doesn't look so good." I look down at Meghan and grimace. The cat's right. Bickering with Puck hasn't helped her and I immediately feel guilty. I should have just set off and let Grimalkin explain to Puck. I kick the horse sharply, clutching Meghan tightly as it breaks into a gallop. We rush through the trees after Puck, my eyes never truly Meghan's face. She will live. She will.

* * *

After what seems like forever, we finally reach the Summer Palace. Puck is already hovering next to the healer who helped me after I was captured by Virus and crowds of Summer fey are milling around waiting for us to arrive; even Oberon and Titania are waiting, although Titania looks like she's rather be having tea with Mab than waiting for the Summer princess to arrive.

I don't even stop the horse, I just grab Meghan and jump down, knowing that time is now definitely of the essence. I race towards the healer who merely glances down at Meghan's pale face which now has a thin sheen of sweat coating her smooth skin before beckoning Puck and I inside, leaving the rest of the Summer court staring at the doors and wondering just what exactly is wrong with their princess.

I'm lead down a multitude of corridors until we reach a simple wooden door. The healer pushes it open and gestures us inside.

"Lay her down." She says sharply. The room is bare and simplistic considering it's a palace. A wall of leaves and bright tropical flowers are growing across one wall but it's obvious that this room is not used very much. A single bed stands in the middle with a dresser along the other wall, a wide array of medical equipment already set out on it's wooden surface. I lay Meghan on top of the sheets and step back, giving the healer room to work.

"You can't stay in here." She says, her back to us, looking over her tools. Puck and I share a look. She turns around, hands on her hips, glaring at us.

"I mean it you two. I need space to work and this could get messy." When it's clear we're not budging she rolls her eyes. "She did it for you prince. She let me work to heal you, now it's time for you to do the same for her." That's a low blow and she knows it. I also know that I can't argue with that. I bend down over Meghan and brush a kiss on her forehead.

"Keep fighting for me." I whisper before standing and striding out of the door before I can change my mind. I lean against the wall by the door, wincing as the door slams closed behind Puck. Another barrier between me and Meghan. Puck stands opposite me, mimicking my position his arms crossed across his chest.

"And now we wait huh?" He says softly. I nod, leaning my head back against the wall, wondering how Meghan managed this when I was the one being healed because the wait is killing me.

"Now we wait."

We wait and wait and wait. Puck can't stand still and takes to pacing the corridor, talking about how he has to apologise to Meghan for threatening to enchant her to sleep when she started pacing. I guess I got my answer as to how she coped with this waiting. After a while, I sit on the floor, running my finger up and down the edge of the edge of my sword and watching the blue glow make strange patterns on the wall opposite me. I find an almost childlike fascination with these patterns, moving my sword so that the light moves across the wall. And then I start to think about how Meghan would like watching this, her innocence is probably one of the first things that drew me to her. I didn't think anyone could be as innocent as Ariella was, but I was wrong.

I shake my head, dispelling the thoughts that are entering my mind, tempting me away from reality. Instead, I focus on Puck's footsteps, counting them each time I feel myself drifting away to a happier time, where Meghan was breathing on her own and her laugh made my heart skip a beat and knowing that I had made her happy made my day brighter.

"What's taking so long." Puck says, throwing himself down next to me with a sigh. I glare at him although it's more out of habit now than real annoyance. I can feel the panic rising up inside myself. Before I can answer, the door opens and Puck and I jerk upright, both craning to try and get a glimpse inside the room. The healer rolls her eyes and steps back, giving us room to get back into the room. We reach the doorway at the same time and I elbow him out of my way, ignoring his protests and the healers comments that we're acting like children.

She's lying where I left her but her dirty, blood stained clothes have been taken off and instead she's wearing a white nightgown with short capped sleeves leaving her arms bare. The scratches and cuts have been cleaned up and she looks...normal again. There's a hint of colour in her cheeks and she's breathing easier than she was, although that's not a difficult thing to accomplish. I can hear Puck mirroring my sigh of relief when he sees her. I make to sit on the edge of the bed but before I can, a hand on my shoulder stops me. I turn and glare at the tiny healer.

"Oberon wants her in the room she was in last time? I'm guessing you know where that is?" She says looking at Puck who nods.

"Should we be moving her?" I ask. I've just got her back; I am not loosing her again.

"Well it's not ideal but she's made it this far. I'm willing to bet she'll stick around a little longer. I smile at that. My Meghan's a fighter. I knew that from the moment I saw her in the Wyldwood. I gently pick her up, my smile widening at the small amount of heat coming off her skin. The last time I held her it was like clutching ice. At least now she's warm. I carry her out of the room, following Puck down twisting corridors until we reach a room that is what I would expect of a room in the Summer palace. Guards are stationed outside of the door, but they don't argue as we push past.

I set Meghan down under the covers of the large bed, brushing strands of hair off her face and settling next to her.

"You're not going to move are you?" The healer asks from behind me but before I can answer, Puck jumps in.

"What do you think?" She sighs.

"Fine. But I don't know how long she'll be unconscious. Don't try to rush her, she needs to come round naturally. And, when she does wake up. Be gentle. None of us know exactly what she went through but from her injuries it was gruesome. I'll be checking in periodically. Just call if you need me." And with that, she's gone. I sit and watch Meghan, content to just stay there with her. After a while, Puck is summoned by Oberon and, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek that makes my stomach twist with jealousy, he reluctantly leaves me alone with her.

And the waiting game continues.

* * *

***Sheepishly pokes head out from behind rock* So...er...hi guys...been a while huh? Another long chapter & Meghan's okay! That's good right? If I also say that the next chapter is almost written, does that make it better? Maybe? Possibly? I might go and hide in the Wyldwood a liittlllee bit longer. Thanks for reading guys, very much appreciated! *Runs off into Wyldwood before things are thrown at her***


	9. Confusion and pain

**Meghan POV**

I can feel my comfortable darkness receding and I desperately try to claw it back; anything for a little longer alone. I don't want to face Rowan again, I don't know if I can. The darkness continues to disappear and I scrunch my eyes up in a last ditch effort to stay asleep just a little bit longer.

"Meghan?" I recognise that voice, deep and full of emotion but I can't remember where I've heard it from. Rowan maybe? No, Rowan's voice would never be filled with that much emotion – I don't even think he knows any other emotions than revenge and jealously. A cool hand rests gently on my bare arm but it's not unpleasant. Not like it is with Rowan, where goose bumps and shivers spread throughout my body. This is…comforting. Safe. Warm. Although I don't understand how I can feel warm when there's a cold hand on my skin.

"Meghan." There it is again. Argh, my brain is so slow and sluggish, it feels like wading through the mud on the farm after a particularly heavy rain storm. Even so, I'm now too awake to go back to sleep so, reluctantly, I open my eyes.

I'm in a vaguely familiar room. As the last of the darkness recedes, I realise I'm in the same room that Oberon put me in on my first visit to Arcadia last year. How am I in Arcadia? The last thing I remember was Rowan laying into me again and passing out from the pain. No, actually that's a lie. I remember a searing pain racing through my stomach but that time I managed to fight the darkness and win because I don't remember waking up. I try to lift myself up slightly, but my body is unnaturally heavy and all I end up doing is aggravating the injury in my stomach. I drop back onto the pillow with a moan of pain. A second later, I feel gentle hands running through my hair and I look round, trying to find the person responsible.

He sits next to me, perched on the edge of the bed, silver eyes shining with unshed tears and a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. I don't think I've ever met someone more beautiful. A warm, bubbly feeling starts to work its way through me and I can't help but think that seeing him smile is a lovely thing and he should do it more often.

"How are you feeling?" He asks softly. I open my mouth to reply but my mind is invaded by a torrent of unwanted memories. This dark haired stranger, who is no longer a stranger to me, cutting me down and breaking me apart over and over and over again. I gasp and clutch at my heart as I feel it cracking with the pain. I know who this is. Prince Ash of the Unseelie Court. The boy who manipulated me and used me. The boy who stole my heart and then shredded it to pieces. The boy who terrifies me more than Rowan ever could.

His face is contorted with pain and concern of his own as he watches me, trying to calm me down.

"Meghan. Meghan it's alright. It's alright. You're safe now, you're safe." But I'm not safe. I'm most definitely not safe here alone with him. Three words echo in my mind. Three small words that were told to me by him once long ago.

_I'll kill you._

That's why he's here now. Rowan's asked him to finish the job – to kill me off although I'm not sure why Rowan is now delegating the important jobs. Ash is still trying to talk to me, one hand on my shoulder, the other still running through my hair. He's talking but I can't hear anything other than those words. _I'll kill you, _gradually becoming louder and louder until it's consuming me.I don't know where I find the energy but I pull back away from him, pushing my broken body off the bed and over to the corner of the room. I sit in the corner, my knees tucked into my chest ignoring the pain I'm causing myself, tears streaming down my face as I watch the blurry form of the Winter prince slowly approach me. He stops a little way away from me, his hands held up to show me that he doesn't have anything to hurt me. Unwillingly, my eyes move from his face to his waist, where his sword rests. He follows my eye, understanding dawning on his face. He watches me for a moment, probably trying to judge my reaction to his next move.

He slowly reaches down and unsheathes his sword, a cold blue light filling the room and I press myself even tighter into my corner, scrunching my eyes closed as I wait for him to press the sword to my throat. I hear him curse softly and call my name once more but I refuse to look at him. I won't look at the person who wants to kill me. I wait for the blow to come but it doesn't which confuses me even more because I've seen him use that sword – he's so fast it scares me – and I carefully open my eyes, curiosity overtaking the fear.

The sword has been pushed well away from him and his hands are now held out in front of him. He's still quite far away, resting on his knees and watching me intently. When he sees my eyes are open he smiles softly.

"I won't hurt you Meghan. I would never hurt you." His tone is soft and reassuring but I don't believe him.

"Liar." I rasp, my voice sore from not being used. Ash frowns at me.

"Meghan?" He questions. But all I can think about is the fact that I'm alone in a room with the person who threatened, numerous times, to kill me and I know that I can't defend myself against him and that thought scares me more than it should. I tighten my hold around my knees, rocking back and forth in a half hearted attempt at dispelling the sound of his voice threatening to end my life.

"You're a liar, you lied to me." I mutter, over and over again as I rock, now only vaguely aware of the room and the corner I'm in.

"Meghan, Meghan stop. Stop a minute." He says gently but if anything that makes it worse and I rock harder, a loud sob echoing the room. In a brief moment of clarity, I note the confusion and pain on Ash's face as he tries to work out how to get me to stop; I can almost see his thoughts as they whir in his mind, wanting to get closer but not wanting to scare me more. But that only confuses me further because why would he care why I'm crying?

"Meghan please, please don't cry. It's alright." He begs, raking a hand through his dark hair. "I haven't ever lied to you Meghan I promise. I promise you I would never do that." That strikes a chord in me.

_I promise._

The one thing I know is that the fey don't make promises easily but he did. Why? He can see me thinking about what he just said; I can see him watching me intently and I'm torn. I want to believe him, every fibre of my being is aching for him, for his arms around me, but the thought of him coming any closer makes me want to scream. I don't understand. I don't understand. I don't understand.

Ash hesitates for a minute and I can almost see the moment when he decides he doens't care anymore and starts to edge closer to me. I scream.

"_Nonononononononononononononononono!" _I say, over and over again, my hands back over my ears. Ash reaches foreward, arms open but all I can see is him glaring at me as he shoots a glistening ice arrow towards me. I push myself to my feet, slapping his arms away as I do so. I sway on my feet; I guess I stood too fast and press myself fully against the wall as Ash stands, his hands up again.

"Meghan. Calm down, it's okay. It's okay." His voice is firm but...I swear I can detect a hint of pain and sadness in his voice. I shake my head – that's crazy. He doesn't care about me, why would he? He doesn't move though and this just adds to my confusion.

"What are you waiting for?" I ask, hostility lacing my voice. He frowns again.

"Meghan, what are you talking about?" I raise my eyes from where they've been trained on the floor, the wall, anywhere but him.

"You're going to kill me." This time, there's no mistaking the pain on his face.

* * *

**Think I definitely need to hide after this one...**


	10. Stories and sacrifices

**ASH POV**

The room spins around me. What the hell has Rowan done to her? How could she think I would want to kill her? I think back to my actions since she woke up. My sword is lying on the other side of the room; I tried not to come too close to her because I didn't want her to panic. I thought I was doing well until she said that. And then it hits me. Just because I haven't threatened her now doesn't mean I haven't in the past. On cue, I can hear my own voice ringing in my head as I helped Meghan stand after the chimera attack at Elysium.

_I'll kill you._

Oh God. How stupid could I be? I fight the urge to hit my forehead and instead focus on Meghan. She can barely stand, fatigue and pain and fear shining in her eyes. How can I make her see that I didn't mean what I said? Or that, I did mean what I said at the time but the mere thought of her dying now makes my heart clench in fear?

"Meghan." I say softly, trying to ignore the way she flinches at the sound of my voice. "Meghan, I'm not going to kill you. I couldn't hurt you if I wanted to." I keep my voice low and steady, watching as she mulls my words over. For a second, I watch understanding dawn on her face and that gives me hope that maybe Rowan didn't succeed, that she was just scared and confused after her ordeal. But no sooner had the thought crossed my mind, Meghan's face goes blank again. I can almost see the thoughts and memories come crashing down on top of her and I have to fight back the frustration I can feel bubbling underneath.

My stomach falls when I see a tear fall from her eye. I hate that she's in so much pain and I can't do anything to help her because **I'm** the reason she's crying. I think that thought alone hurts me more than anything. I take a step back, away from her, though it kills me to do so. I consider trying to get her to go back to bed, before coming to the conclusion that at best she'd ignore me and at worst I'd cause a massive break down and I don't think I could handle that. So instead, I stand and watch her, pressed against the corner of the room as if trying to make herself invisible.

Behind me, the door opens.

"Hey, look who's back with us." Puck says cheerfully. I can't hide my sigh of relief – perhaps Puck can get her to cooperate.

"Meghan? What are you doing over there?" He asks, taking a step towards her, his cheerfulness being replaced with concern. He shoots me a questioning look over his shoulder.

"You two haven't had a fight already have you?"

"Goodfellow." I say softly, making him stop and turn to me completely. I nod towards the door. "We need to talk." Puck nods slowly.

"Two minutes Princess." He says, grinning once more before following me to the other side of the room.  
"Alright Prince, spill. What the hell is wrong with her? What's wrong with you? I thought the moment she woke up, she'd be in your arms and I wouldn't see her again. Instead, she's huddled against a corner like she's scared to breathe."

"Rowan's messed with her mind." I begin slowly. "Or, more specifically, her memories. Her memories of me."

"Just of you?" Puck interrupts. I nod.

"From what I can tell. Rowan would have no need to distort her memories of you – it would have been harder anyway, you've been in her life longer than I have." I try not to sound bitter at that. "She's convinced that I'm going to kill her."

"Kill her? Ice-boy what did you do?" I rake a hand through my hair in frustration.

"Nothing! This stems from something I said to her at Elysium. Rowan's bought that memory to the front of her mind and distorted it so it seems like a genuine threat."

"Wait, wait, wait. When did you threaten to kill her."

"It was a while ago Puck and I didn't mean it. Even when I first met her, seeing her smile made me happy. That's all I wanted to do – try to make her smile."

"Threatening to kill her made her smile?"

"Recently, yes. Thinking back on that moment made her laugh before Rowan got his hands on her." I sneak a look over at Meghan and see her watching us, confusion clear on her face.

"Doesn't she remember asking you to be her Knight? I thought that vow overtook everything." Puck says, following my gaze. I shrug.

"The vow didn't take Rowan into account. Maybe she'll remember it later but right now she's terrified and she should be resting." I sigh. "I'm…I'm going to leave. I need you to look after her for me Puck alright?" Puck nods.

"Where are you going Ash?"

"I don't know. Not far. But she needs space right now, space from me so that she can heal. If that's what she needs then that's what I'll give her, no matter how much it hurts me to do so." Puck rests a hand on my shoulder and, for the first time in a long time, I don't shrug it off.

"I'll try and get her to remember Ash." He says quietly and I nod in thanks. Deep down, I know this is the best thing for Meghan. Puck is the only person who could bring Megan's true memories back – but that thought doesn't make it any easier for me to walk away from her now when I know she needs me. I take one last look at her, noting that she keeps her eyes down; not looking at me. Before I can say or do something that I'll regret, I walk out of the room, leaving Meghan in the hands of Puck. I don't think I've ever relied on Puck for something this much in my life.

**MEGHAN POV**

Ash looks over at me and I hastily drop my eyes, not meeting his gaze. My heart thuds in my chest until I hear the door click shut. When I look up, Ash is gone. For a moment I'm disappointed, but I don't understand why. Why should I be disappointed that the boy who wants to kill me has gone. Surely I should be happy.

Puck stands in the opposite corner, watching me for a moment, before he clears his throat and smiles at me.

"So, is it okay if I have a hug or is that not good?" He asks uncertainty tainting his voice. I smile a little at him and push myself off the wall, all thoughts of the dark Prince gone for the time being. Puck catches me in his arms when I trip, pulling me close, and I weakly wrap my arms around his neck, relishing the feeling of safety that comes with the gesture. Puck won't hurt me. I'm safe with Puck.

"Come on Princess, you need to go back to bed." He says, pulling away. I don't argue which I know amuses him. I drop down onto the bed, my limbs breathing a sigh of relief as they sink into the soft mattress. Puck pulls the covers up to my shoulder before lying down next to me, letting me rest my head on his side.

"How are you feeling Meghan?" He asks, stroking my hair gently. I yawn.

"Better now that you're here." I can feel the smile on his face.

"Why were you over in the corner?" I try to repress the shudder as dark memories threaten to take over but I don't succeed.

"He wanted to hurt me." I whisper. Puck sighs and I frown in confusion. Why is he sighing? Is he sticking up for Ash?

"Princess, Ash wasn't going to hurt you." I push myself up, wincing at the effort.

"How do you know that?" I demand, glaring when Puck laughs.

"Tell you what, I'll tell you your story. The story of how you and Ash met. And, at the end, you can decide whether Ash really wants to hurt you or not." I watch him for a moment, trying to decide whether he's being serious. After a moment I nod, lying back down next to him.

"Alright then. So, the first time you and Ash met was in the Wyldwood…"

* * *

**So Puck is going to help Ash get Meghan back but where has Ash gone and will Meghan be able to fight the conflicting memories Puck's story is going to dredge up? Stay tuned to find out xxx**


	11. Watching and dreaming

**ASH POV**

I don't go far. Every step I take kills me a little more inside. I can't get over the way she looked at me. She's never looked at me like that before. Ever. Like she's completely terrified of me, of who I am. Even from the very beginning, Meghan's faith in me has been unwielding. Not even when she was in Tir Na Nog did she ever completely hate me. I have to hand it to Rowan, he knows how to finish a job properly.

I make my way back out into the court yard and sit on the edge of a marble fountain, relishing the cool splashes of water as they hit my cheeks, cooling me down in the heat. I don't understand how Summer fey can stand the heat; although they can probably say the same of us Winter fey and the cold. I stay there, ignoring the curious glances of the surrounding Summer fey and try to forget the cold feeling that creeps into my stomach every time I think about Meghan.

I don't know how long I sit there, but by the time I finally move, the sun has moved in the sky, casting long shadows across the court yard. I stretch, feeling my back pop slightly after so long sat in one position and slowly make my way back towards the Palace. I take my time, not rushing though every fibre of my being aches for Meghan; strains towards her. When I finally reach her room, I pause, taking a deep breath before pushing the door open.

I look towards the bed, and despite everything that is so wrong to me, I smile. Meghan has finally succumbed to sleep, her fair hair splayed across his chest. Puck has his eyes closed but opens them after a minute, his emerald eyes begging for understanding. I nod in reply. At least she's asleep. Now, if only I can convince my heart that seeing her in _his _arms is alright that would be great. He gently moves Meghan back onto the pillow, easing himself off the bed before coming to stand next to me, both of us watching over her as she sleeps. But both of us know, if she needs us, only one of us will be able to help.

"How is she?" I ask softly, swallowing the tears that are threatening to consume me once more. I'm sure I've cried more over one girl in two days than I have in my entire life. Puck shrugs.

"Okay I think. She seems like Meghan anyway, at least when we were talking. Stubborn as ever, always has to be right..." I grin at that but it soon fades; replaced instead by a bitter jealousy that Puck can prompt my Meghan to come out but I can't. It's harder than I thought it would be to force that down.

"Did she say anything about..." I can't finish the sentence.

"I ended up telling her the whole story. From the very beginning, or, as much as I know anyway. That was the only way I could think of to get her to remember."

"Did it work?" I ask, uncertain of whether I want the answer. Puck shrugs again.

"It seemed to. I mean, she didn't freak out or anything she just...listened. I guess we won't know until she wakes up. I tried Ash – I really did." I offer him a faint smile.

"I know Puck. I just wish you didn't have to." We stand there, watching Meghan as she sleeps, waiting in both anticipation and nervousness for her to wake again. Even now I'm struggling to imagine Meghan scared enough to attack me; although, without knowing exactly what Rowan did to her, being attacked by the girl I've sworn to protect is a distinct possibility. I slide down the wall, resting my back against it, my gaze never leaving the bed.

"Get some rest Ash. You're gonna need it." Puck says from above me. I nod and take his advice, quickly dropping off into sleep.

**MEGHAN POV**

_I'm dancing. Soft light flickers around me, making my silver dress shimmer. I raise my eyes and meet Ash's gaze. He smiles in return, extending a pale hand to me, which I take without thinking. He leads me to the centre of the floor, bowing towards the table containing the fey nobility - Oberon, Titania and Mab – and I follow his lead, curtsying towards my father. I have a strange sense of deja vu as I straighten and turn to face Ash once more. He takes me in his arms and guides me across the floor. _

"_Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?" Ash murmurs as he pulls me into a spin. I smile at him, conscious of the hint of colour starting to appear on my cheeks. I'm not used to anyone, let alone the Prince of Winter, tell me I'm beautiful._

"_You have, several times in fact. Have I told you, you don't look too shabby either?" He chuckles and doesn't reply. He looks as striking as ever in his black and silver uniform and, for the seven thousandth time I can't believe that he is mine. But even as I think this, there's something tugging at my unconscious that demands my attention although I'm not sure exactly what it is. I push it away impatiently, not wanting it to ruin my night._

"_What are you staring at?" He asks after a moment of dancing. _

"_Nothing." I smile. He raises an eyebrow at me and I roll my eyes. _

"_You don't remember, do you?" He says after a moment. I frown at him._

"_Remember what Ash?" He pulls me into another spin as he answers._

"_This isn't real Meghan. It's a dream."_

"_No it's not." I say although I can feel the truth seeping in. I backtrack. "I don't want this to be a dream." He smiles at me sadly._

"_You have no idea how much I want this to be real as well Meghan." That's very unlike Ash._

"_What do you mean Ash?" He sighs and pulls me even closer. _

"_Something happened to you Meghan. Rowan did something to you and...well...it's changed you." Fear bubbles up in my chest._

"_**Changed** me? Ash what is going on?" We stop in the middle of the floor, other couples dancing around us as if we weren't there. Ash presses his forehead to mine and closes his eyes._

"_When you wake up, you're going to be battling a hundred different memories and emotions. But I need you to remember Puck's story and remember this dream Meghan. I need you to remember these words okay? Because these could quite possibly be the most important words I have ever told you. I would never, ever hurt you. Hurting you in any way would kill me Meghan." _

"_Of course I know that Ash. Why would I need to remember that?" I ask confused. I can feel a tugging and the dancers around us start to blur like a watercolor painting left out in the rain. Ash watches, his eyes widening slightly in alarm._

"_Meghan I can't explain right now okay but promise me you'll remember that. Promise me!"_

"_I promise." I say quietly, shocked at his outburst. Whatever is going on outside of this dream is enough to make Ash beg me to promise him something like that. Ash never begs so it must be serious. He kisses me softly, turning my insides to mush._

"_I love you Meghan Chase. Remember that." He whispers. I run my fingers through his dark hair._

"_And I love you Ashallyn darkmyr Tallyn. You remember that." With that, the dream fades and I open my eyes, staring right at the still sleeping form of Ash. My heart starts to thud and I automatically cower against the sheets until, I remember words whispered during a dance once._

I love you Meghan Chase. Remember that.

* * *

**Okay so some of you wanted to know why Ash left Meghan with Puck in the last chapter. He knew that his presence was only hurting her further - this isn't something he can rush. She has to figure everything out in her own time and he knew that Puck would be the best at nudging Meghan in the right direction. So, he left but, as you now know he didn't go far. A little bit of fluff for you all at the end. Poor Ash - he can only be with Meghan in a dream at the minute but is Meghan starting to distinguish between the memories Rowan has created and her real memories? Stay tuned to find out! **


	12. Embarrassing memories

**ASH POV**

I shift slightly as I wake up, remnants of my dream littering my mind. It hurts that it was just a dream. That none of it was real. I slowly open my eyes, blinking at the harsh light coming from the lamp. I must have slept longer than I thought because it's dark outside now., Puck snoring by the window. Yet the late hour hasn't stopped Meghan from waking. I feel her gaze first rather than see it and I don't meet it right away, not wanting to scare her anymore than I already am.

"Ash?" A soft, hesitant whisper but it grabs my attention in a way the loudest shout could never do. I meet her gaze slowly and see the confusion lining her eyes. My heart starts to beat faster as the words I told her in my dream come racing back to me. Could we really have shared a dream? Could she really have heard those words? Done as I asked? By the looks of things, the answer is a tentative yes.

"Meghan." I breathe, relief filtering into my voice, though I have nothing to be relieved about yet. She sits up slowly, her pale hair tangled from where she's slept on it. I keep my eyes on hers, noting that her eyes, that were bright with laughter just a moment ago in the dream, are still dull and filled with nervous tension. Tension that for the first time since we found her, I might be able to take away. _Alright Ash, take it easy. Don't scare her away now – this might be your only chance for a long time. _I take a deep breath.

"Meghan what's wrong? Did you have a nightmare?" Her forehead furrows in confusion.

"A nightmare? No. Not a nightmare. It was...it was a nice dream." She replies quietly. Slowly. As if she's thinking hard about her answer – about why she's answering this question. Maybe this is what I need to do. Keep proving to her that I am different than the Ash she thinks I am.

"What was the nice dream about?" I ask carefully. I can't help but compare talking to Meghan like this, to how I'd imagine talking to a toddler. Small words, simple language, nothing that she wouldn't understand. Again, a surge of anger threatens to take over when I think about all the damage Rowan has done to my sweet, innocent Meghan but, again I force it down. All this anger will be great when I practice sword drills again – a lot more motivation.

"You were there." She says, her eyes now firmly on the bed. My heart leaps – it's true! The dream I had was the one Meghan had! "We were dancing and you were...happy." She finishes, her voice growing quieter and more uncertain the further she goes. I smile.

"Oh Meghan, I'm always happy when I'm with you." I murmur, unsure of how she'll take that little snippet. Her eyes snap up to meet mine. We stay like that for a moment before a quiet sob racks her body and tears begin to flow down her face making my heart contort in agony. I stand up slowly and make my way over to the bed. Either she doesn't notice or she's too upset to care, either way I manage to make it to the bed without any problems.

"Shh Meghan it's okay. It's okay." I soothe, wanting nothing more than to stroke her hair, to pull her into my arms and protect her from everything this world is going to throw at her. But I can't. Because I know the second I touch her the tiny progress we've made will crumble into dust.

She cowers away from me, curling into a ball on the bed, despite the pain I know the movement must be causing her.

"You don't care. You've never cared. You played me. You played me. You_ lied _to me. How could you care? How could you care about a pathetic human like me?" She mumbles into the bed sheets and I strain to hear them. My heart plummets. Maybe I don't even have to touch her to disintegrate the small fragile connection we had.

"You are not a pathetic human!" I say fiercely, capturing her attention. She raises her tear stained face to look at me. Ignoring every instinct in me, I reach forward and cup her cheek with my hand, holding her gaze even when she flinches.

"Listen to me Meghan. If you were just a 'pathetic human' I wouldn't be here now. You are so much more than that – you're the complete opposite of pathetic Meghan. You are the strongest, stubbornest person I know. I could never hurt you Meghan, never." I sigh feeling as if I'm just going around in circles, saying the same thing over and over again in the desperate hope that the message will sink in. "I love you Meghan Chase. Always and forever." I whisper, letting my hand fall to the bed. Meghan doesn't look away.

"Was it true?" She says quietly. "Puck's story?" I nod.

"Every word."

"Even the bad bits?" I smile a little.

"Even the bad...wait. What exactly did Puck tell you?"

"In terms of our story? Nothing I didn't already know, it was just in a different context. But he did tell me some interesting little stories about you."

"Oh God. What stories?" Silence. "Meghan, what stories did he tell you?"

"Oh, nothing that interesting. Although, there was one about some of the...jokes you played on your teacher." My jaw drops.

"How did he..."

"So it's true then?" Meghan asks, her face lighting up and, despite everything, I can't deny her this memory – this untainted memory of me that she can use to help her recover. I rake my hand through my hair and sigh, leaning back against the head board in defeat.

"Yes it's true." Meghan giggles, all traces of fear, for the moment, gone. "Remember though, I was a lot younger – a little more...reckless, shall we say." Meghan watches me for a moment; I can see the internal battle she's fighting. Slowly, she turns to lean against the headboard next to me, our shoulders almost touching. She's not relaxed by any means – her body is screaming tension but it's progress. More than I could have hoped for. She takes a deep breath before nudging my shoulder gently with hers. I turn to look at her.

"Well, I've heard Puck's version of the story. I want to see if yours compares." She says quietly, staring straight ahead. I don't miss the unspoken words. _I want to see who you are compared to who I think you are. _I push myself up slightly before smiling at her.

"Fine. But, only if you promise not to laugh." She gives me a very small smile in return.

"No promises Your Highness." That floors me for a minute and I have to sift through my memories to try and remember when I asked her to call me that. It hits me then, standing in the throne room in Tir Na Nog, knowing all Meghan wants is one kind word but also knowing that I can't give her that. Without thinking, I reach over and tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Ash. It's just Ash Meghan." Her body is so tense that I immediately withdraw my hand. So far, this meeting is going a lot better than the first one, I just hope that my personal embarrassment will help that progress. I shift on the bed slightly and rake a hand through my hair before beginning.

"Okay, so your 'lessons' weren't the same as my lessons..."

* * *

**Aw, you gotta admire Ash - embarrassing himself so Meghan has one good memory of him. Puck's story obviously worked to some extent but just because she's talking to him now, don't go expecting things will be any easier - where's the fun in that? So next chapter you'll get to hear about the havoc young Ash caused in Tir Na Nog and see more of Meghan's mental breakdown - because we all love a good mental breakdown don't we lol. Until next time xxx**


	13. Childhood snowstorms

**ASH POV**

It doesn't matter whether you're fey or human; I think it's programmed into us all from birth to find school dull. Everyday I'm forced to sit through hours of tedious lessons, with the world's most boring tutor. What makes it worse, is the library looks out onto the snow covered area surrounding the Palace. The place I'd much rather be.

"Prince Ash!" I force myself to look at my tutor who is staring at me in exasperation. "Please, this is important!" I can't stop myself from rolling my eyes. I might be a Prince and third in line to the throne but learning about the expansion of the Wyldwood is so incredibly tedious.

"Why can't I go and watch the expansion of the Wyldwood? See it happening for myself?" I ask as he turns back towards the blackboard that has been set up specifically for these lessons although I don't know why – he's only copying exactly what's written in the book in front of me – it's not as if I can't read. My tutor spins on his heel, his face a mask of horror.

"Certainly not Prince Ash! The Wyldwood is much too dangerous! Besides, it takes many years to witness a change in the Wyldwood – it's much easier to read about it. Now, if you will _please _turn your attention to page 143 we'll start to look at the Evolution of the Fauna at the Tir Na Nog border." My head hits the desk in defeat.

When I'm finally released from my daily hours of torture, I'm in a foul mood. So when I run into Rowan out in the hall, my heart sinks a little. This is all I need.

"How is old Mr Bardeau then little brother? Is he still as dull I remember him?" Rowan asks smirking at me. I sigh as I fall into step with him.

"Worse." I reply absently, too busy looking out of one of the many Palace windows to concentrate fully on what Rowan is saying.

"It's too bad you're cooped up in here all day Ash. I mean, there's a whole world out there to discover first hand. Much more interesting than learning out of a dusty old textbook."

"You don't think I know that Rowan? Just because I'm younger than you doesn't mean I'm stupid."

"Why I never meant to insinuate such a thing. Of course if you don't want my help..." I sigh.

"Fine I'll bite. Want your help with what?"

"Teach old Bardeau a lesson of his own of course." This catches my attention. Rowan notices and smirks. "Well?"

"Fine. But only if you promise that at the end of all this I can go outside the Palace walls."

"Of course Ash. Surely that's the point of this little venture? Now. You just turn up to your lesson tomorrow and leave everything else to me."

"Why can't I know what you're planning?" I ask, suddenly wary of what Rowan is actually going to do. I don't dislike Bardeau; he's just incredibly dull. I don't want to hurt him; but of course Rowan can't know that.

"Because dear brother, if you know what's going to happen then you won't be surprised. That's the key to this Ash. You have to act like you know nothing about what's happening and the best way for that to happen is if you truly have no idea. Now run along. I'm sure you have plenty of homework to be getting with." I glare at him but bite back the scathing reply that's on the tip of my tounge and make my way back to my room.

When I reach my room, I make my way to the balcony and lean against the railing, looking out over Tir Na Nog. A small smile hovers on my face – this, will someday be mine. Eventually anyway. It doesn't take away from the beauty of the place. Behind me, I can hear the scuffle of a red cap fight and below I can see some of the ladies of the court taking a final walk before nightfall. Even within the court, being outside after dark isn't a good idea. Hence me being inside. I sigh and head back inside, lying on the bed and closing my eyes. The ache to leave the confines of the Palace is consuming me. Rowan's plan, whatever it may be, had better work or I might actually go crazy!

The next day dawns clear and cold; just like every other morning and, as usual, I'm up at daybreak, practiscing sword drills in the empty banquet hall. My only free time in the day where I can truly focus on being me. I don't have an 'image' to maintain or have to worry about doing something wrong in front of Mab or Rowan. It's nice. It would be nicer to be practiscing outside but I'll take what I can get. All too soon though, my time is up and the bubble bursts. I drag my feet down the corridors towards the library, dreading the coming hours. I take a deep breath and push open the library door. And stop. The entire room has been covered in snow. I stand behind Mr Bardeau who is staring at his second home like it's been burnt down. I reach down and pick up the snow. It's wet and cold and crumbly. Real snow. I bite down the laughter that's threatening to overcome me, coughing instead. Bardeau spins around horrified.

"Oh...er...Prince Ash."

"Everything alright Mr Bardeau?" I ask as calmly as I can as I walk into the room. His face slips from horrified to angry.

"Did you know about this...vandalism...Prince Ash?" I slip the cold mask of indifference that I've learnt from the hours spent trapped in the court and I watch as Bardeau literally cowers away from me.

"Of course not. Why would I know anything about this?" I gesture to the snow covered room which has now started lightly snowing, making Bardeau look like he has a really bad case of dandruff. "Has Mab heard about this?"

"I...er...no...Your Highness. I can clear this up and Queen Mab will not need to know."

"And what of my lessons? Surely clearing the entire library of snow will take most of the day. Many of the books will be waterlogged. How am I supposed to learn without books?" His face falls and mine lights up as I watch him realise what he's going to have to do.

"Well...I suppose you could complete the work on the growth of the Wyldwood...in the Wyldwood." I raise an eyebrow at him, fighting to retain the mask I'm wearing. Bardeau nods to himself.

"Yes. Yes that will work. I'll go and clear it with the Queen." He mutters to himself before gesturing to the door. "Do you mind?" I smile coldly back at him.

"Not at all." I say, following him out into the hallway.

Not even an hour later I was riding through the Wyldwood, like I'd done only a few times before. Maybe the joke wasn't my idea but Rowan didn't own up and, well, I instigated it.

I'm brought out of my memories by a giggle.

"It's really not that funny." I say smiling.

"I can just imagine the look on his face." Meghan says, almost shyly. I laugh myself at the memory.

"Yeah, the look on his face was particularly satisfying."

"Have you always got what you wanted?" I look down at her unsure of whether my answer will just push her back into those fake memories Rowan created or pull her further away from them and back towards me.

"In most part." I start, watching her carefully before stroking her hair. "But some things, I've had to work particularly hard for." I'm rewarded by a small smile. Progress.

* * *

**Okay so this isn't really a joke/prank as such but this is what my brain supplied to me at like eleven o'clock at night so...Anyway, this probably isn't my favorite chapter but I hope it does the job. So from now until the end of November I'm going to be updating once a week. College is a LOT tougher this year and I'm still going to be tacking NaNoWriMo in November so once a week updates until probably December :( Please keep reviewing though - they seriously do keep me sane! **

**Anyway after this insanely long A/N - how long do you reckon this 'progress' is going to last? Spoiler alert - not long! So, leaving you with that little bombshell I will see you all next week xxx**


	14. Conflicting memories

**MEGHAN POV**

My head is pounding. Although recently that's nothing new. I have so many memories and emotions fighting in my head that I don't know what to do. There's no one I can talk to – all they're going to do is add to the madness in my head and that is the last thing I need. Puck's been busy recently. He comes to check on me whenever he can but his visits are becoming less frequent. It seems Oberon has lots of meetings with Glitch and Mab, officially declaring the Iron Kingdom as a court of the fey. He needs all the people he can trust with him. Ash comes everyday – a lot more often than Puck. I don't know what to think about him.

I can't deny that every part of my body is aching for him but, whenever he's here it takes all my energy not to attack him. To tell him to stay the hell away from me. I don't know if I trust him or even if I truly believe the stories that both he and Puck told me. I mean, why would I ask a guy I'm terrified of, a guy who I remember wanting to kill me, to be my knight? I mean, Puck told me that asking someone to be your knight is a really big deal for the fey.

Argh I'm so confused!

I'm currently sat at the window seat in my room, looking out over Arcadia. I haven't left my room in the week since I woke up and I have no desire to do so. Apart from Puck and Ash, the only other person who comes to see me is Tansy. According to Puck, Oberon is happy for me to stay locked away – word has got out about my...episode...the day I woke up. Apparently I'm not stable enough to be paraded around in front of the court. I did get Tansy to tell me that he's expecting me there for Elysium in a few weeks though. The mere thought of dancing with Ash again makes me shudder in fear so how I'm going to cope on the actual day I don't know. Maybe by then I'll actually be insane and that won't matter. I can only hope.

I lean against the cool pain of glass and allow my mind to take over, delivering blow after blow of harsh memories. Except now, there are also some good memories mixed in. The only way I can describe the feeling is it's like being able to see both sides of a story at once. So the memory I have of Ash at my first Elysium is awful. A chimera rampages through my mind and his promise to kill me frequently echoes off the sides of my skull. But then Puck came in and introduced me to another version of the story. Where Ash and I...weren't friends exactly but we got along and he saved my life and the only reason he told me he'd kill me was to emphasize the possibility of the courts going to war. He never meant it. And now there's a third side to the story – Ash himself. Watching him around me is scarily interesting. For a trained killer, he's surprisingly gentle when he's talking to me. Every time he comes in he tells me a little more of our story. He lets me ask questions although I don't do that very often. Every time I look at him I remember the cold mask of icy indifference and the harsh way he once spoke to me and it freezes me into place. So now, not only do I have the awful memories and the good memories, I also to have to understand why he would take the time to tell me these things. Surely now is as good a time as any to get rid of me, whilst I'm defenseless against him. Yet he doesn't and I don't know why.

I'm lost in my many memories; of killer ash and kissing Ash. Of fighting with him and fighting for him. How can I love him so much but not truly remember our relationship? I mean, I'm not an expert at relationships (I was the pig-farmers daughter, it's safe to say I didn't have many (or any) relationships prior to coming into the Nevernever) but even I know that for a relationship to work out, both parties have to know how much they love the other. Surely that has to come into it? I don't. I don't know if I ever will again. But he's still here, still telling me our story and willing me to remember it. As I listen to him recount our very first adventure together. Hear him tell me how he admired me for taking all the risks and making the sacrifices for my brother. His words from a few days before ring clear in my head.

"That's something I didn't truly understand then. I would have sacrificed myself for Ariella and at one time even Puck. But my brothers? The thought probably wouldn't have crossed my mind. I think that's one of the things that initially drew me to you Meghan. You're selflessness. You were willing to give yourself up to me and Machina if it meant your brother was safe. You've always shown me there is more than one way of looking at something. I used to view everything as a predator and I never considered what it was like for the prey. But that's all you thought about. Your brother."

Even now, the memory of him talking about people in terms of being predators and prey makes me shrink into the wall. I sigh shaking my head slightly. Grasping the second of calm that has seeped into my mind before I'm thrown into the next memory. Normally I try and fight against the tidal wave of emotions but I'm so tired. I'm so tired of fighting for what (I think) used to be mine. I want to be me again, more than anything, but I'm scared. I'm scared that I'm never going to get there and so, in a moment of weakness, I do the one thing I promised myself I would try to avoid at all costs. I give up trying to sort through the memories and instead let them all engulf me at once. I thought the memories engulfing me before were bad – they have nothing on this. A thousand voices fill my mind and I clutch my head and scream in agony.

_Why would I want anything to do with the Summer half breed? I vow to protect Meghan Chase, daughter of the Summer King, with my sword, my honor and my life. I'll kill you Meghan, for real this time. Giving you a sword means that you're going to be in more danger and I'm going to be tough on you because I don't want you to lose. Do not lose your heart to a faery prince human, it doesn't end well. Some things I've had to work particularly hard for. From this day on. I am yours._

Distantly I can hear my name being called over and over again but I'm too busy trying to claw my way out of the hole I've dug myself to pay any real attention to it. And when I say claw I mean literally claw. I can feel the strands of hair being tugged on harshly and it takes me a second to realise it's me. I'm trying to pull my hair out and I can't do anything to stop myself. I can feel cool hands wrapping around my wrists desperately trying to pull my hands away from my head but the person obviously hasn't taken into account what strength madness can give you and I fight against the hands pushing myself away as I try to get the voices out of my head.

"Puck go get the healer!"

"Are you sure you should be alone with her right now Prince?"

"We don't have time to discuss this Goodfellow – you know this place better than I do. Now go!"

"Meghan, Meghan please stop. Please." I'm aware of words coming out of my mouth but for a long moment I'm unable to understand myself.

"No. No. No. Get out of my head. Get out. This isn't real. This isn't real." I'm no longer in my room in the Summer Palace, I'm in the Wyldwood with Puck and Ash and Grim getting ready to fight together again once more and then I'm in SciCorp watching as Ash tries to tear me apart and then I'm back home watching as Ash and some spider hags gang up on me and my frozen family.

Nothing makes sense anymore.

"Get out of my way!" The new voice is distorted, like I'm underwater. Dully, I feel a prick in my arm and not a second later, my vision starts to fade and with it, the voices begin to diminish too. The cool hands are back again and this time I let them pull my hands away without a fight. Distantly I can feel my body being moved and then I'm being rocked back and forth just like my dad used to do when I was little and had a nightmare.

"Dad." I mumble.

"Shh Meghan. You're dad will be here soon. Sleep now okay. Just go to sleep." With the reassurance of my dad finally coming to look after me (Paul not Oberon, he's made it clear he's not the 'father' type after all) I let my eyes close and drop into oblivion.

* * *

**So I like this chapter soo much more than the previous chapter. Is it really bad to say that I had a lot of fun writing this? I mean, Meghan is in so much pain she's physically trying to harm herself and I'm here writing it like 'this is so good. keep going' I think I need help...**

**Let me know what you think! Until next week xxx**


	15. How to help her

**ASH POV**

Meghan's body goes slack in my arms and I let out a shaky breath as I struggle to understand what I just walked in on.

"She'll sleep now." The healer says quietly and I nod absently to let her know I heard her. "I'll come back and check on her later but I have to inform Lord Oberon what's happened." She steps away, leaving Puck and me staring at the sleeping girl in my arms.

"What just-" Puck starts.

"I don't know." I whisper. My eyes stray to the cuts on her head, strands of her pale blonde hair now tinged with red. I shift her in my arms before turning to look at Puck.

"Go get a cloth so we can clean her up a bit." Puck nods, his tan face abnormally pale. He hands me the damp cloth and I set to work, slowly dabbing at the cuts. They're not deep by any means and head wounds always bleed more but seeing Meghan like that has really thrown both of us. We work in silence, me cleaning the wounds and Puck gently applying a salve to heal them. When we finish, we move her over to the bed and sit either side of her, both of us now even more unwilling to leave her side than we were this morning.

"That was..." Puck trails off. I know the feeling. There are no words to describe what it felt like hearing Meghan scream and running in to find that she was causing herself harm. Puck takes a deep breath and when he speaks again his voice is a lot steadier.

"What do we do Ash? How do we help her?"

"I don't know." I groan. I don't think I've ever been this desperate for something ever. Not when Meghan was dying at the hand of Ferrum, or when I first realised that Rowan had kidnapped her or when she asked me why I hadn't killed her yet. The desperation I felt in those situations are nothing compared to this. It's one thing to know that Rowan messed with her memories of me, it's another thing entirely to watch as the girl I love more than anything tries to literally pull her hair out in an attempt to get rid of those memories. I suck in a breath myself, forcing myself to think.

"We can't stay with her 24/7 no matter how much we want to. Even like this I doubt Meghan will allow it." I start.

"Screw what she wants to allow ice-boy! Are you seriously considering leaving her alone after this?" I rake a hand through my hair and throw a hostile glare at him, receiving an equally murderous glare back.

"Of course I don't want to Puck but I don't see what choice we have! If we baby her too much, she'll just find a way to sneak out when we're not looking and then where will we be?" Puck opens his mouth to reply but closes it when nothing comes to mind.

"Look. There is only one person I can think of that could help her now." Puck raises an eyebrow at me questioningly. I roll my eyes.

"The person she asked for before she fell asleep." I can't bring myself to say the word drugged. It doesn't sound right in my mouth. It's a lot easier to pretend she just fell asleep naturally.

"Paul." Puck says, understanding dawning in his eyes. I nod, my eyes straying from his face to the sleeping girl next to me.

"Paul." I repeat. Puck rakes a hand through his own hair as he considers our options.

"Are we sure he's up to it though? I mean, after spending so long in the Between will he be willing to venture into the Nevernever even for his daughter? He wasn't completely stable himself when we last saw him."

"At this point Goodfellow he's our best chance at getting Meghan better. Like you said, he knows what it's like to lose memories – maybe he can help her. Even if he can't, maybe talking to him and focusing on something other than her conflicting memories will help. We have to try Puck." He nods.

"Alright then. Do you want to go and get him or do you want me to?"

"I'll go. Out of the two of us, you're the one who can keep her calm. If I'm here it'll be hit and miss whether she freaks out or not." Puck gives me a sympathetic look.

"You know how to get there?"

"He does not, but I do."

"Oh well of course you're here." Puck says throwing his hands up dramatically. Grimalkin just sits on the window seat licking a paw.

"Things aren't going well with the Princess I take it." Grim asks me, his yellow eyes boring into me. I glare at him and gesture to Meghan.

"How did you guess?" Grimalkin stands up and saunters over to the bed before jumping onto the covers and eyeing Meghan.

"Hm. Well Prince if we are going we should go now. We can get the human and be back before daybreak if we hurry."

"What's this going to cost me?" I ask tiredly. I'm not sure what I have left to give the damn cat.

"We'll let this one go, just this once." He says, jumping down and heading for the door. I share a look with Puck.

"Why? Why would you let this one go?" I ask dubiously. Grimalkin sighs as if the answer is glaringly obvious.

"Because Prince, you seem to have enough problems at the minute and I have many favors from other people that I can call in should I need them. Losing this one is not a big loss for me." He sniffs in Meghan's direction. "And despite what you may think, I have no desire to see the Princess lose her mind over this ordeal."

"Keep this up Grimalkin and people are going to start thinking you care." Puck says grinning wickedly at the Cait Sith's surprising show of compassion. Grimalkin ignores him.

"Well? Are we going or not? Why does it take so long for you to make a decision?" I bend down and kiss Meghan's forehead lightly, my heart lightening slightly as she mumbles my name in her sleep. Whether that's a good thing or not is a completely different issue that I'm not going to focus on.

"Look after her for me. I won't be long." I tell Puck who just smiles at me, making me incredibly uncertain as to whether leaving Meghan alone with Puck is a good idea. Puck rolls his eyes at me.

"She's survived seventeen years in my company hasn't she? She'll survive another day." I allow myself a small smile at that and Puck grins triumphantly as I turn to face Grimalkin.

"Lead on Cait Sith."

* * *

**So Ash is off on yet another journey for Meghan to find Paul. But will Paul be able to help Meghan? How long will he be able to stay in the Nevernever and what will happen to Meghan when he has to leave again? Come back next week to find out! xx**


End file.
